As netizens are going berserk over how Hardik Pandya could be so daring to go and tell his parents about losing his virginity, we lesser mortals still quaver at the terror our parents has been bestowing us with. No aspirations to emulate the Pandya misogyny, yet sometimes we do wish we had the jigra to tell certain things to our parents. Here are 7 things I will never dare tell my parents because thappad se dar lagta hain. Which one of these freaks you out as well?
#1 Mom, I have a girlfriend
Desi parents freak out at every instance they come to know of their kids getting romantically involved with people. Having a girlfriend/ boyfriend in this part of the world is a taboo.
Indian kids dread the day when their love affair would be discovered. Admitting that they have a love interest is then something that ranks at number 1 in our list of things we can never dare say to our parents.
#2 ‘Main aaj kar ke aaya hai’
If admitting to being in a relationship is so much of a matter to be kept so hush- hush, then you can only wonder what the knowledge of you losing your virginity can bring upon you by your parents.
Sex in India is a subject that is viewed as tremendously unreal, yet the country has the highest percentage of population in the world. Try telling your parents- in true Hardik Pandya style- ki ‘mai aaj kar ke aaya hai’ and see the profanity certainly unleashing unto you.
#3 Maa, main peekay aaya hoon!
Drinking is considered so much of a vice even in the contemporary Indian society. Indian parents forever fret the day when their dear child would return home reeking intensively of alcohol.
So while you might have mastered all the ways of holding your favorite drink while becoming a pro at consuming each one of them (that too in copious amounts), you still have to act naive enough to convince your parents that you have never in your whole blessed life touched even a drop of alcohol.
#4 Can’t do without the ciggy
So, since you don’t drink (not really), you can lay your claim to being the good child of your proud parents. Wait, not so soon. You still have to go through the agnipariksha of not letting your darkened lips give away count of the number of puffs you have inhaled. Chewing gums are your best friend because deceiving parents is the trickiest trick to pull off.
As children with desi parents, smoking is seriously off limits to us. Or so we tend to believe when guts fail to take center stage.
#5 Dad, I took (stole) some money from your wallet
Be it for celebrating your first anniversary or funding your secret day trip or indulging in the first sips of whiskey, we all are guilty of stealing money from our dad’s pockets or tucking away some notes from mom’s purse. But the ‘bravery’ manifests only until there, and not till the time we actually have to confess to our parents about the ‘robbery’.
(Harmless) Stealing stuff is a sinful crime we have all committed and it’s also one of those things we would never confess to our parents, desi or not.
#6 ‘I don’t want to be a doctor/ engineer’
It’s only natural for parents to expect the best for their kids and harbor high dreams for them. And Indian parents specifically have this desire to see their children graduate as engineers or doctors and go further to pursue an MBA.
So even if you are emotionally invested enough in pursuing your dreams and are hell bent on being an actor or a Youtuber, try finding your gut to actually confess that to your parents. ‘I don’t want to be a doctor/ engineer’ is actually the worst heart break you can gift your desi parents with.
#7 Maa, mujhe nahi karni shaadi
If there’s one thing Indian parents are the most uncool about is that their children would die unmarried. That’s a concern that occupies the minds and lives of parents more than any other.
If you are someone who have a strong aversion to marriage or choose to enjoy the single life throughout, prepare yourself for some serious emotional drama that will be directed towards you if you come strong enough to admit this to your parents.
Hindi tele-serials go the extra mile in intensifying the intensity of dread associated with this admission. From blackmailing you with emotional rebukes to questioning your whole existence, over dramatic is the way to go for you if you choose to profess your love for being solitary life long. Remaining mum before your mum is the way to go for you to lead a life free of drama.