True friends indeed are hard to find and even harder to keep. Throughout your life you will make many friends and you would be lucky enough only to sustain a select few. Your friends might be drifting away from you for many reasons- some of which you might even fail to fathom. However there are some really distinct signs that tell you when you and your friends start to break away from that bond that had once meant the world to you. Here’s 8 of the biggest signs that tell you if your friends are indeed drifting apart from you-
You are no longer comfortably carefree together
Very few relations you build in your life will be based on the premise of non showy unpretentiousness like friendships are. Your closest friends are the people you are the truest with, there’s hardly any secret between you. You harbour a bond that goes way beyond judgement and bickering. In fact it is this comfort that you find in the togetherness that allows you to be completely honest and at ease with each other.
Naturally then the most tell tale sign of when your friends start drifting away from you would be a sense of uneasiness creeping up in the relationship. Over the years you might have become a bit wary of letting all your thoughts find free flow in your talks. It might either be the apprehension that perhaps your friends might not be the right people to let in on with your secrets. Or it might even be something more intuitive- you just don’t feel like sharing yourselves completely with them- and neither do they.
Whatever the reason behind the comfort levels dipping down to all time lows or the uneasiness elevating to all time highs, it’s evident that you guys are drifting apart for sure. No longer are you as spontaneous as you had been in expressing yourself in front of them. You think more than enough before blurting anything out just in case there might be repercussions. The comfort wanes down gradually and so does the trust and with it the friendship that you had once cherished so much.
It’s awkward between you guys
Of course the lack of comfort and the associated uneasiness only means that you no longer are your nonchalant carefree self with those people who had been your best friends sometime. More often than not every thing you say and do feels so awkward because no longer do you relate and click the way you used to. And that’s obviously one big sign that you and your friends are drifting apart from each other.
Those conversations that once used to be so fun and natural now feels forced and mundane. You run out of topics to discuss on with the same person you had once chatted with for hours. It’s not just the conversations that have run out of steam though, it’s also your friendship that is bearing the burnt of the awkwardness. And it’s awkward not just in the lack of things you have to say. It’s also as disarming that it strikes you that no longer are you the same people you once used to be. Your friends have ceased to be the ones in your life who knew you out and about, they are now mere acquaintances with whom you have long shunned rantings and have only managed to somehow do manage with small talk.
Even casual hang outs seem like too much of a chore
Naturally with comfort levels declining and the awkwardness setting in with leaps and bounds, you won’t be hanging out with your friends the way you used to. Catching up will prove to be such an exertion for you that you would want to avoid it. And you do. Whether it’s you frequently cancelling hangout plans or your friends coming up with excuses of being unable to make it yet another time, the drift is very visible. The sense of the distance growing and the drift widening gets to you so bad that after a point you dread not just the impending loss but also the mere mention of it.
You avoid every opportunity at meeting up because you feel like it’s too much work even for something that once used to be the most liberating times of your life. You don’t want to lose out yet on the friendship that you so treasure yet you choose to let it go because you aren’t willing to put in so much effort and time to hold on to it. There’s this doom you know your bond will come to- either with the truth that your friends are indeed drifting apart from you too fast and too much or with the realisation that neither you nor they care enough to mend it and give things a second chance. The stress of what is now a chore gets to you to such extents that you ultimately decide you are better off without it and also without the friendship.
You might even be seen- zoned or phubbed
How many times have you texted your friends and been left on seen without even as much as a courtesy reply? Or how often have you been phubbed even in those rare occasions you guys managed to catch up but perhaps without avail? For those who think that it’s just your crush who has the exclusive audacity to seen zone you or that phubbing only characterises romantic relationships, you need to know that there’s much more to this than what you think.
Your friends will seen zone you as easily and as appallingly as you do with the guy who is visibly one sided in love with you. That’s a very blatant indicator of how you and your friends are drifting apart, slowly but steadily or maybe even swiftly and surely. And it isn’t that you can tide over the lack of replies as something they are too busy to attend to. Because the very next moment they are on Insta heart reacting their peers’ recent upload. It’s apparent that they are ignoring you or that they do not think of you as someone important in their life anymore. Whatever the reason might be it’s clear that there’s something- perhaps some misunderstanding or even a lack of interest- that’s pulling you guys apart to the point from where you perhaps can’t even return to reconcile.
You feel excluded
Because there’s a difference to how you perceive things and how the world around you sees them, it’s quite possible that the feeling of being excluded is something that might be stemming only from you. But when then that nagging realisation persists and you constantly feel left out even when you are physically ever present then that can be a reminder that you friends are starting to drift apart from you.
You might still be included in the plans, your presence might even be urged in the birthday gatherings but you are no longer a part of it. There’s a huge world of difference to being there in person and actually feeling like you genuinely belong there. You stand there very much with the group but no longer a part of it. You fail to catch up with conversations, you don’t get much about the gossip and you are clueless about the many names that pop up every now and then in the same. It’s a very clear indication for you to get abreast of the fact that your friends are drifting apart from you while still including you in agendas but possibly only for the sake of it.
They might have betrayed you
However apart your friends might have been drifting from you of late you can’t undo the bond and the secrets you had shared once upon a time. And when you are still betrayed by letting out of those talks by the same people you once confided everything in then you know that the friendship ceases to hold any longer. Guarding your secrecy is something real friends would do unfailingly every time, without you even having to bind you into retaining the same. And that’s perhaps the reason why you had let out everything in front of them, without any inhibitions and distortion, and perhaps that’s one of the many reasons why you had developed such a close bond with them.
Naturally then when they choose to bargain the very trust and belief that had let you into being friends by not acknowledging the honoring even the bond you shared sometime in the past, then the writing is pretty much clear on the wall. You indeed are disconnecting and disbonding to extents that past emotions tend to have no value in the present.
Your interactions have become more routine and less priority
Even when you shun meet ups and choose to remain cut off, you nevertheless try to strike up conversations every once in awhile just to shed off the blame that you didn’t try hard enough. No wonder then that more than half the time these interactions are forced upon and not something you readily engage with. It is indeed one of the biggest signs of drifting apart from people when you seek to connect with them only for the sake of it. No longer are the emotions genuine, no longer is rekindling the bond and staying true to the friendship the priority for any one of you or your friends, it’s just a routine you engage in somewhat reluctantly.
But at least you do- you argue, even though you know deep down that having a heart to heart conversation isn’t at all the prerogative for you. You realise that you and your friends are disconnecting more than ever which is why you no longer can come up with impromptu chats and hearty talks. You try to strike- or rather force- some conversation that is more of a task on your to-do list rather than something you readily would give your heart and soul to.
Even the frequency of conversations are dwindling faster than you would have imagined
It’s indeed a sad state of affairs between you and your friends that even the forced conversations happen to few and far between for you to lose count. You connect, albeit superficially, once in a couple of months and advance very soon to once in a couple of years. You might have long given up your expectations from quality over quantity but to your utter dismay you find that even the numbers are starting to let you down.
It’s indeed an utter testimony to the fact that your friends indeed are drifting apart faster and further than you had initially thought possible. Either it be the lack of things you relate to or the general disinterest seeping in your bond but conversations are no longer your thing now. You miss out on every significant thing happening in your best friend’s life- you even are ignorant about how she got married to the guy she had crushed upon since high school! It’s social media that lets you a peek into her life- but only to the extent she lets you in. Time flies by fast and life takes centerstage so much that you miss out so much on everything. Heck, the detachment and drift is so real that you don’t even know whether you can call them friends anymore!