Life is colorless without friends. But when some of these very people start showing their true colors you would rather live your life without any of them. Because friends are so easy to come by, it’s difficult to tell if they really mean the emotion of the bond or are there with you just for the sake of it, or worse just to take advantage of you. It might be a bit tricky or it might even be not very convincing but there are some subtle signs that tell you if your friend is your true ally or your worst enemy.
Like they say, a true enemy is better than a fake friend. Which is why you should forever be wary of letting such fake people gain position in your life as friends, as foes or as who and whatsoevers. Here are 7 things that help separate a true friendship from the fake ones just so you know whether your friend indeed is also a friend in need-
Real friends are those who are forever by your side. They support you in your rights but will also be there with and for you in your wrongs. Obviously they will scold and reprimand you, they might even get angry for all your misdeeds, but they won’t ever be leaving you in the lurch. Instead true friends will stick with you no matter what you get yourself into. They will correct your wrong and better your rights. Every time you falter you will find them holding you up, steadying your steps and balancing you out when you aren’t in the most sane of minds. While fake friends will secretly fan your misdoings or abandon you when the going gets tough, a real friend will never ever dump you even in your darkest time.
When we say a friend in need is a friend indeed we do mean that friends are the people who will help and support you throughout. However think of a friend who only remembers you in times of need and otherwise completely ignores you and you know what company you are in.
It’s indeed a matter of luck to find such friends who are forever willing to help you out in everything and it is no lesser a privilege that the person you so cherish as a friend turn to you in their moment of despair. It’s your fortune that you get to help them tide over their problems and worries or that they consider you worthy of the same. This however does not mean that they start rekindling the friendship only when they are in dire need. But the ones who are friends with you only for their benefit will do exactly that. While real friends will forever nurture and cherish the bond irrespective of whether they need you or not at the moment.
Someone you consider your true friend will obviously have access to your darkest secrets and your wildest fantasies, your guilty pleasures and your ultimate indulgences. But the ones who don’t respect the fact that you let them in on the know because you trust them enough and let your secrets become their gossip talk can never be your real friends. Perhaps they are with you only because they want to extract your deepest musings so that they can defame you. Even otherwise, even if they let your personal talks slip without any intention whatsoever, it would do you better to stay away from such people who nevertheless have broken your belief.
Every real relation, be it that of friendship or romance, filial or forged demands a certain degree of loyalty- a conviction that every thing about you is safe with those people you confide everything in. Naturally, any one who values you as a true friend will never let your trust go to waste like you don’t matter. If indeed they do, it’s only evident that you don’t matter and they aren’t real for sure.
No they don’t have to adhere to the ‘call me every day’ routine nor do they have to text you every single night. While communication is the key in every relationship, it does not mean that you have to stay connected 24X7. And the ones who are your true friends will indeed know and understand this. They won’t hold grudges when you don’t splurge all details about your date night the moment you are out of the cafe. But neither will they not care to check on you several times on days when you have even as much as a small sprain. They won’t bug you when they know you are genuinely busy neither will they get upset when you sometimes ignore their text just because. This is because they acknowledge that all of you are individuals with your own life and you need time for yourself as well.
Fake friends on the other hand will leave no chance to taunt you when you slip out of contact for a couple of days. It’s perhaps to show that they care more than you about this bond or simply because they like to make you feel guilty. And it isn’t always any normal fun banter, there’s a scathing undertone that can’t help but sting you and leave you feeling miserable and irritated all at once. It’s wise therefore to stay away from such people who want you to concede to their definition of what they mean when they say that you are friends. It’s only petty dominance and assertion of their will that leads such people to be a friend to you in the first place.
Your true friends will dream and envision with you and you will grow and bloom with them. Such is the bond of friendship that you absolutely become each other’s greatest strength. You conceive ideas, she plans the execution or he does the investment and you take up the promotions. You want to bake the perfect cake, she will remind you to take it out of the oven at the exact moment. It can be small desires, it can be your lifelong vision- it doesn’t matter what you set out to achieve, a true friend will goad and support you throughout.
The ones who however aren’t the realest of friends will try to bring you down every time you embark on the path less trodden. You want to be a dancer, they will tell you the moves won’t bring you the money. You would want to jet set off for an adventure, they will be instilling fear of lurking predators. Drink a bit too much one night and they will tell you how you can’t be doing anything in life. They forever find faults in you, they always are distracting you from your aspirations or having you obsess so much and so bad over it that you eventually begin to rue it all.
Your true friends are the ones who stand up for you when you can’t even do so for yourself. Thy dare you to dream when you have lost all confidence in yourself. They slam all rumors defaming you when you are weeping over them. They won’t let you take a shit from others even when you are too zoned out to say and do anything. From celebrating your success like it’s their own to crying over your loss also like it’s their own- a true friend will not let you be down and out ever.
While fake friends are the ones spreading rumors about you, your one true friend will stand defiantly and will argue your case. They will hold ground for you when you feel like you are losing it all. As it’s said true friends aren’t the ones who defend you in your presence, they are the ones who shut down mouths speaking about you behind your back.
It’s only a matter of time before you slip out of the good books of your fake friends if ever you messed something up with them. Sure you may genuinely apologise and try to make up for it and still be friends with them, but they will forever be harbouring a disgust for you. They will blame everything you do after on that one wrong that you unintentionally fell prey to. Even when they are sweet on the face, they will be harbouring a scorn against you and will miss no opportunity to give it back to you.
Real friends though will know it was only human on your part that you erred, and they will love and respect you even then and otherwise. Of course they will speak up to you if it’s something that bothered them so much but they won’t be contemptuous of what you did. They will make peace with your apology and will forgive you because they love and cherish you that much. And never will they make you feel guilty of something you had no intention of doing because they care about enough not to push you in such a troubled state of mind.