Having a crush on someone is a universal experience that binds all irrespective of barriers. Be it the enamoring of shy glances or the commonly resonating grief that spares none, the feelings of the heart indeed are the best non discriminatory tactics life employs to render us all equally human. But getting over a crush who doesn’t like you back still is a big deal irrespective of how ordinary a manifestation your heartbreak might be. Here’s the best ways you can move on from someone you are still crushing on even when they don’t like you back-
You can’t be really getting over anyone unless you bring your mind to believe that there is indeed no future for you with them. Hence a crush who isn’t crushing upon you as well might be best waned of first by making peace with reality. Acceptance is the key here, both metaphorically and significantly. Because if your crush had accepted you, we wouldn’t have been talking about stuff as this. But since he/ she clearly does not, the acceptance needs to be about the rejection. Perplexing as it may sound, living in the reality should be the priority even when it comes to notions as dreamy as infatuation and love.
Naturally then the first step you can take in ensuring that your crush remains as only a figment of your memory, a sweet remembrance that you will indeed ruminate fondly but not fall back on as a destructive defense mechanism, is to make peace with the fact that they you do not have the same impact on the person you are attracted to. Once you understand that this isn’t a two way thing, it would be easier to embark ahead. Also since, he/ she is just a crush, it should not be very difficult to get over the initial despair drama.
Try emptying yourself of the thoughts
After you are in full acceptance of your fate that you are not destined to be together with your crush, it would perhaps be wise to take another conscious step forward. Since feelings grow stronger the longer you dwell on them, you need to be assertive in keeping your heart and mind off such distractions. It might be a very fragile vow when you choose to stop thinking about the one you love, but it indeed is very consequential. But forget you need to if you really want to get over that almost special someone. Do whatever it takes to get your mind off them- be it engaging in a hew hobby or remaining surrounded by friends and family all the time, take the healthy route out to rid your mind of such pursuits that will only have you in disdain the more you prolong them.
Do not lose sense of your worth
Such is the pain of heartbreak and the misery of a love unrequited that for ages poets and even wiser minds have helplessly given their way to such agony. History is replete with how lovelorn folks have given up all in the face of rejection and how even the most practical of minds lost their reason when it came to something as magical as love. Therefore it is only natural that the first time you realise that you aren’t anyone special for your crush you deign to indeed deem yourself as special. That’s a very sad truth but we do seek for validation for others, even the ones who hardly know us, when what we should rather be blissfully basking in in self realisation. But the innate human manifestation that this is, you really can’t steer yourself completely clear of such feelings of unworthiness creeping in silently but quite destructively.
Irrespective of whether you want to get over someone or not, it’s very important that you never doubt yourself ever in life. And specifically when the matter at hand is something as fragile as a tattered heart, it becomes all the more crucial to reinstill faith in yourself. Just because someone doesn’t reciprocate your fondness for them doesn’t mean that you don’t have it in you to be someone adorable. No single thing- be it people, interests or desire, appeal equally and equivocally to every one on earth. Which means there is absolutely no reason for you to let those feelings of an unworthy existence make inroads into your being. However cliched it may be, every individual on earth is unique and therefore special in their own way. And rejection from anyone should not let you deride that special exclusivity that caters wholly to you.
Deny yourself also of all negativity
While not losing sense of your self worth definitely works in getting over someone because you don’t bind yourself exclusively to their view point, there also lies a crucial over ruling. The special person that you are extends also parallely to all other people in the world. Which means your rejection does not in any way entitle you to be vile about how your crush would ‘repent the loss’ they incurred in not choosing you. Everyone has their own choice and preference and just like you have every freedom to like someone, they also have every reason- and right- to not do so.
Now you might be thinking why on earth moving on from someone requires you to be understanding of them? Or how does it matter in any way what you feel about someone when they don’t feel the same about you? On paper there most likely wouldn’t be a comprehensive link. But in reality the relation is far more deep than what you think. You might think that you can obsess over someone only when you love them. But alas, if only it was as simple as that! Obsession derives also from negativity and in a manner that is more harmful than what infatuation guarantees.
Whether you are obsessed with someone in love or in hate, the underlying impact is the same- you still are very much receptive of them. Which is exactly what you don’t want to be doing when you are trying to move on without anyone in life. So if you indeed do want to get over your crush, try forgetting them altogether.
Seek solace in shared sorrow
Heartbreaks also are all part of the wide world experience that is common to all mere mortals. Obviously you aren’t the first one to not be loved back by the person of your dreams and you aren’t the last one either for sure. Of course none of us have anything to do with others when it comes to suffering. But perhaps what helps in a sorrow shared equivalently by the world is that it makes you more at peace with your loss.
There is a certain solace in knowing that you are not alone in your suffering. The strength that you derive from a shared experience is one that is inexplicable- perceptive enough to have you in its warm embrace yet seemingly inconsequential that renders you dismissive of it. But even within this very subtle acceptance we tend to find a consolation so enormous that it indeed helps in getting over our grief to a considerable extent.
Find your best coping bet
Because everyone has their own coping mechanism it would be not completely accurate if we say that you should stop talking to your crush if you want to get over them. This might seem essential to ensure that you don’t have much to feed your thought thereby leading you to stop thinking about them. If that’s the way your mind and matter works then of course you should absolutely cut contact with any one you want to move on from. Be it in person or on phone or even being friends on social media, avoid them altogether.
Here again it’s important and also difficult to stick to the routine more than it is to make it in the first place. Specially when it comes to social media snubbing, the end achieved might e quite different from what you expected. Because the world of digital media is a vicious realm that has you friending and unfriending, stalking and blocking at alarming frequency, you might indeed get more inducted into all of the mess. Tread therefore very carefully on such grounds that are far more volatile than what you perceive them to be. Most importantly be sure that the recourse you are seeking will not end up furthering the intensity of your feelings instead.
On the other hand, if you are someone for whom resilience comes so easy that you can remain focussed even while continuing to harbour contact, then you sure should have your way out. But either way, you need to be absolutely sure about how you are going about what you are doing.
Remain open to love
However ingenuine it may sound, it indeed is possible to move on from someone within days. Specifically when it’s just a crush that isn’t suppossed to be an intense far flung thing anyway, you are allowed liberties. Do not hesitate therefore to let the charms work on you once again even if it feels too soon. While a rebound isn’t the best of ideas to help you out, it surely also isn’t the worst. There’s no lacking of commitment on your part when you take an easier route out to get over someone. Even when you might be having apprehensions that your newer plunge will speak your insincerity, you indeed need to take the path forward.
Also, moving on gets all the more difficult when you allow yourself to be so despaired by the recent turn of events that you shut yourself to any enamoring whatsoever. A negative experience does not spell negativity for you forever. Of course your future love experiences can very well be as fruitless but that is in no way a reflection of this rejection. Do not therefore let yourself be offset so much by the ignominy of rejection that you end up shutting yourself up for all good that is to follow. A love that does not stay isn’t exactly the love you need anyway. Have belief therefore in your destiny that it indeed will bring you someone who is just the perfect match for you. Once you have accepted not just your fate but also your destiny, you will find a newer conviction to move on in life.
It might sound flimsy, even evilish, when we say that you should be grateful even without your crush by your side. But the reason we indeed dare utter such blasphemy is that this isn’t love yet! Imagine crushing on someone and getting along so well that you get into a relationship even without love making inroads into your life. And then after some time you get habitually attached to the person and can’t do without them.
But because it was never love that brought you together, the other might not be harbouring the same emotions. So what you are now left with is a relationship that you wouldn’t forfeit while the other person is unwilling to continue with it. Wouldn’t it be more disastrous then for you that you are left with absolutely no choice, specially when you are already so invested in it?
Sounds hypothetical but the real world indeed works on basis like this. Hardly would you come across those love at first sight sagas or die hard romantic folks for whom it has been love, love and love all throughout. Isn’t it better off then that your crush wards away any chance of a relationship that thrives more on the probability of breaking off than it does on love? You might argue what if this was the relationship that was meant to be? How else would you know if this was all you needed from life without plunging into it?
The heartbroken entity that you are now, we can assure you it could have been way worse. The best you can do now is seek acceptance and be grateful it did not turn out any way that could have been far more of a disaster than what it is at the moment.