P – for progressive, P – for perfect, a progressive man is definitely the perfect man..but are progressive men for real?? Is there anything close to something which we call a perfect man??? Ask the gals and get the gaalis…
Progressive (in terms of the male homo sapien) can be defined as someone who is willing to change with the changing times…the changing needs of the society..the changing ideals..value system and the entire process of evolution…but evolution itself contradicts the male prerogative…the lioness hunts to feed the clan while his royal highness the lion lazes around having sex…well that’s his role defined by the process of evolution…to propagate his genes! This may sound over simplified and the man next to you may scream, “O really…but I always do the dishes while letting you take the “cow girl” position in bed!” Well it’s literally the case of woman on top for a momentary period on the timescale of happiness and fulfilment…the rest needs retrospection…are men really progressive? Or maybe we reframe the question…do we allow our men to be progressive??
You may ask “we” as in who?
Well we as in all the women in the man’s life…starting from the womb..the biggest flag bearer of the “anti progressive brigand…” the mother…mama…mummy… who dresses her sons in blue and daughters in pink…it really starts with the defined colours of the nappies…the wall papers…the cradle…and the differences stay forever! You can’t play with a barbie….no, you can’t cry…you are supposed to be strong…no, you are strong…you are a boy…and it goes on…the boy turns into a man…a protector of the weaker sex…with the values of dominance and superiority ingrained in their minds and body…your ancestors believed and practised these values…so must you…you are after all the man of the house…the provider…the protector..the all and foremost being…progression can only be upwards not otherwise…to erase this belief, it will probably take much more than just the propagation of liberal thought and practises. A progressive man exists if at all only at his level of existence…his thoughts and beliefs…the rest is the society and the system which flourishes its double standards in terms of the man and his progressive nature.
Men could have been progressive if they had not been told to become who they are supposed to be…from the time they are boys, they have been given a rider for their behaviour…the particular ways in which boys should behave…which acts are not in tune to the acts of “real men..” like “real men don’t cry..” then suddenly everyone decides, no this is not right…”real men do cry” and should cry…an emotional man is the real man…a caring man is the real man…a man who does the dishes along with his female counterpart are the real men…they even coined words for this…progressive, metrosexual…
The men fell into deep crisis…being a man was in itself a task…they were by societal norms not allowed to be themselves..they were always asked to perform a role..a role of a man…a real man…then came this role reversal…of having to be emotional..caring…of imbibing female like characteristics to prove their progressive selves…of being anti traditional to be termed perfect…but this deepened the crisis…since all this was once again biased on stereotypes and did not exist in real life….as someone wisely said…” a perfect man is a piece of fiction!”
Having said that progressive and perfect men are a plenty in this millennium…and it’s not just the movies, books and the advertisements which endorses this brand of a real perfect man, there are men who not only stay at home and look after the kids and the dishes..there are men who opt to share the pain of child birth with their spouses and there are some who epitomise all the feminist and liberal causes for gender equality and the rights of the female kind…I have even seen some carry the feminist tag on their sleeves! These however are to the maximum possible limit only for academic purposes…these do not make the progressive man real…then what does? A man not only becomes real but also progressive and prefect, the day his female counterpart can feel comfortable in her skin while flaunting her sexuality without any negotiations at home and elsewhere…a man does not need to change to be progressive, to be real…he just needs to adjust his view…rearrange his thoughts…and most of all, he needs to stop listening to the women around him…and just be himself!!!
P.S : Free advise to the wannabe real progressive men :
Challenge the patriarchy on your own terms, rather than looking to women to tell you what to do….