Pros and cons of arranged marriage you must know before you take that plunge

6 min


pros and cons of arranged marriage

Whether the tradition of marriage is held through the course of an arrangement facilitated by well-wishers or by ardent love itself, it speaks of a beautiful union of souls towards a happy long life. It is about the coming together of two unique individuals from separate different backgrounds and practices to form an extended family for each other. It is irrefutably true that the means of choosing a spouse is a lot less central than actually holding the forts of a peaceful and responsible life after the sweet echoes of wedding bells have long faded away into timeless oblivion.

In older form of marriages, the groom or the bridegroom had no clear picture regarding the personality or tastes of his or her spouse-to-be except meager hearsay. Without question, arranged marriages were held in accordance with the choices of well-wishers from the family members or professional matchmakers.

In this day and generation, the subject of arranged marriages has come into much debate and contemplation. Historically, this age-old tradition of arranged marriages has been in practice all over the world starting from clan leaders, aristocrats or rulers to all kinds of military, social, and political allegiances. The concept of arranged marriages has since moved beyond its traditional base and exists as a small yet popular trend especially in the south East Asian countries.

In contrast to previous practices, the arranged marriages conducted in this time and space is watchfully designed with the blessings of the family and the couple involved. In fact, in recent times, arranged marriages are based on mutually consenting adults to a greater extent. Prospective couples are now given the freedom to pick his/her partner in favor of their tastes, spend time and marry with due consideration of their own.

How a person would stand and view the traditional practice of arranged marriages will eventually depend on his or her cultural rearing and religious convictions. Nevertheless, if there is even a slight place for love and contentment whilst entering into an arranged union, one should just leap right in. Hence for the sake of reflection, let us peer closely into some wide-ranging aspects of arranged marriages:

Pros of the Arranged marriages:

Throughout time and evidence of history arranged marriages have proven to be blissful for many people. The tradition can carry a lot of excitement for the involved parties. It can be very thrilling to get acquainted with a new individual and getting to know personal details about a potential life partner. Besides the excitement of identifying with each other better, it is also tremendously advantageous when members of the family give their complete support when the marriage is prearranged by them.

It is the supreme truth that parents are the best possible well-wishers that one can have. They will ultimately pick the most appropriate life partner considering all factors like morals, similar tastes, and family values with pre-research and careful deliberation. Nowadays couples only need to meet, share conversations and make out for themselves whether or not the prospective match appeals to them.

One of the most chief advantages of arranged marriages is that it guarantees that the pre-arranged couple is matched perfectly on factors like religion, social status, language, culture, financial class, family background, and analogous lifestyles. This reduces the risks of incompatibility and makes the possibility of a strong marriage even stronger.

Belonging to a similar culture, sharing like religious rearing, speaking the same languages, or even belonging to a similar socio-economic class can make relationships between new couples smoother and easier. Also, such likenesses between couples leave little room for differences over the future of their kids and their schooling.

What’s more, in arranged marriages childcare support from family members is always a guarantee. In times of last-minute deadlines or emergencies, the couple can rely on the aid of their in-laws and parents for emotional, physical, or even financial help. When both partners work, finding satisfactory babysitters is never an issue as grandparents already involve themselves willingly towards the fostering and care of the young brood.

Most importantly, it is also the nicest feeling when one receives the blessings and support of parents and family members prior to undertaking a new journey in life. It cannot be denied that marriage between two individuals also encompasses the marriage between their respective families. When there is strong cooperation amongst the kin of the couple, well-meaning parents and elders try their supreme best to keep the couple happy and provide the much needed emotional support and advice when the tides of life turn against the couple in their voyage together.

Shortcomings of Arranged Marriages

Needless to say, what may work out perfectly for some may not be entirely suitable or even advantageous for some other people. It may be so that some individuals aren’t entirely comfortable with the idea of an arranged marriage for individual choices and reasons.

It cannot be denied that arranged marriages may seem akin to gambling. There will always be a probability that the person with whom one is betrothed to might turn out to show any sort of unpredictable personality.

The idea of spending an entire lifetime with an individual whose nature one is not familiar with will need a lot of trust and planning on both parts. Despite the initial period of formal introduction after fixing up an arranged marriage, it is hard to completely understand the nature of an individual in a short time allotted before a wedding.

When a wedding ceremony is arranged by parents or elders, the spouses aren’t given an enormous opportunity to frame their own judgment about whom to marry. As opposed to seeing someone and measuring them up to one’s own ideas, the involved parties leave that for others to decide.

After a post-wedding scenario when trouble crops up in paradise blaming one’s family for making an unsuitable choice can be very tempting. Losing control over one’s own wedding can sometimes be more of a bane than a boon. The conscious effort of making life choices not only lends more validity to matrimony but also keeps a marriage more strong as a joint effort from both ends.

In some cases, the interference of extended family can also get to be too much. Akin to the involvement of too many cooks spoiling the broth, active interests of family members can sometimes lead to an excess of chaos and confusion, thus creating setbacks for any newlywed in their personal life.

At the same time as having a plethora of advantages to having one’s family members close at hand as much-needed supports, such proximity can also prove to be drawbacks for some. Sometimes conflicts and arguments in marital are resolved better when only the spouses themselves are involved. It could prove to be stressful to the marriage when in-laws try to get into the couple’s source of argument and impress their views.

The most distinguishable disadvantage that comes to mind with the concept of arranged marriage is the bittersweet fact that the thought of love in itself and real connection between within the matrimony comes to be a second priority. Parents of individuals give more importance to social and economic status rather than romantic love between two individuals believing that true love will eventually bloom after the marriage.

Bonding and genuine assurance for a partner come out of deeper human needs. When desired understanding and acceptance in a prearranged match seems absent sometimes people seek out those intimate feel-good connections outside their own marriage in other people. When love is set on the back burner, marriage misses out on real-life intimacy and bonding.

Despite balancing the pro and cons scales, the practice of arranged marriages still has a strong and commended place in our modern world. If we try to view it from the eyes of any society promoting arranged marriages, the reason behind its success stories will only become clear and logical in time. This is mostly attributable to the insight and blessings of the revered elders.

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Marriage is a beautiful institution and what makes it even more sublime is when a union is conducted with the consent of everyone involved in the ceremony. Regardless of the kind of marriage, a couple gets bonded into, it is most crucial that both partners understand each other’s sentiments and nurture them every day without taking anyone or anything for granted.  Ultimately, it is not the form of marriage but the couple participating in the institution and their personal bond which makes a marriage real in its most blissful and true form. After all, despite all the good sense of material sustenance and vested interests, we all need love to keep us alive! 

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