Friendships seldom are obvious and we rarely find friends in people we want to. This is because being friends with someone isn’t just about kids teaming up for a game of house or discovering your shared love for the same flavor of ice cream. You can be really good friends only with someone who sync with your notions and aspirations, even sometimes without you being unaware of it. You grow to a earn a really good friend because they possess certain qualities you covet, which make the two of you hit it off. Here are some such qualities for you to ponder over if ever you wonder why you are such good friend with someone you really, really treasure-
They vibe with you
Throughout your life you meet so many people but get real close with only a few of them. These are the person you call your friends, perhaps even your family without any blood relation whatsoever. What then makes you resonate so much with them that leads them in being an indispensable part of your lives?
First and foremost, it’s the way you guys click together. Forget every virtue and all nicety, friends bond first over how they vibe and only later over other things. You can’t be friends with someone you don’t resonate with, even when they may be the best of souls and the most amazing of people. While this might not exactly classify as one of the qualities of a good friend, it surely is an essential requirement for the bond to develop over time and into eternity.
Good friends are also good listeners
Count all the times you have vented to bestie about your day or how you always feel so relaxed after a good session of ranting on the phone. That feel good ease that stems from having someone to listen to your woes and worries is what can make or break friendships. As humans, what we all need at the end of the day is a soul who might or might not totally be in sync with our version of life but at least is forever ears to whatever we have to say. Therefore, being an effective listener goes a long way in helping build and maintain friendships.
Good friends are those who listens to all you have to say, for the simple reason that you want to be heard by someone. You confide in them your fears, you tell them your worries, you share your experiences with them and they listen to you just because it makes you feel better. Needless to say then, people who have the best of listening skills also likely will make the best of friends.
They don’t judge
Sure, you can go on judging the world with your bestie and that might even be your best shot at bonding even when it sure sounds a bit devilish, but never have you judged each other. And it’s not because you guys are so perfect beings that you don’t do anything that defies all the stares. It’s rather because you both harbour such qualities that have led you to become so good a friend to each other that you would rather nudge than judge.
So you might be making the most terrible of life choices or might be at your vulnerable worst but you never have to worry about being judged by this one person in your life. And trust me, there’s nothing more liberating than being who you are and doing even stupid things without the slightest apprehension that you would be typecast as someone. So you have a friend in your life who doesn’t ever judge you no matter what, you likely have a friend for life.
You hush and buzz with them at ease
You might have been an out and out extrovert all your life but you surely don’t stay buzzing 24*7. Your friend might be more into her shell but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy a rare night of dancing it out. Every single person on earth has their own moments of frenzy and silence and when you discover peace with someone in everything, you know you have gained a good friend. One of the most important qualities of being a good friend is that you understand the other person’s requirement for silence or bustle, just as you know your own. Someone who does not take offence to every cancelled plan and someone who doesn’t shut others up simply at their convenience makes for the best of friends than people who constantly have to sit and do nothing or go all out and party, for instance.
They aren’t just skin deep
You might have heard about being being more than just skin deep but even good friends tend to be as meaningful an entity as beauty. People who are more perceptive and thoughtful tend to come across as better friends because ultimately what we need is not just someone to hang out with but also someone to hang along with. This means that we strive to share our deep interests, deeper passions and deepest secrets with our friend. Be it your larger than life dreams or your genuine fear about something, a good friend will understand it all.
This means that your bond will be strengthened over things even beyond the usual stuff of movies and dresses, or sports and food. With virtually every thing under the sun taking up your time and discussions, not only will you discover each other better but also grow individually. While not everyone might consider this facet an essential trait to friendship, for someone who would count as your good friend surely should know a more about you than the world. And for every person who values a good friend more than a bunch of just friends, this surely is one of the qualities that would make them covet that soul all the more.
They are respectful of others
Good people are the ones that make good friends. Someone who is respectful of others, no matter who or what they are, would make for a better friend simply because they would respect you as well. No relationship on earth can bloom and blossom without there being a mutual respect for each other. Because after all, a relationship that does not seek you in respect sure does not deserve you in name as well.
People who are more respectful of others also command respect themselves making them better and more desirable to stick to. You know that such a friend will never deride or demean you because it is not in their nature to disrespect others. Simply by being the respecting and considerate being they are, such people will earn good friends and make for one as well with their assertion of this very essential of human qualities.
Good friends appreciate and encourage all
This again is one of those innate qualities that render someone a good person first and a good friend later. Someone who is forever supportive and encouraging of people will make for a good friend simply with the positive vibes they bring along with them. Appreciating even the littlest of progress in your career, encouraging you more than enough in pursuing your passion or something as simple as complimenting you on your look can go a long way in lighting and brightening the day. They would bolster and amp your mood and lead you to a happier, more fulfilling space which is exactly what you would want from the most precious relationships of your lives. By mere virtue of their positivity, being a supportive person can translate well into being a good friend as well.
Dependable people also make for better friends
Do not shut this off already as being a clever way to say all the ‘help’ you want to elicit out of your friend. While being friends with someone just because they are of some use to you is no doubt disgusting, this does not mean that you would absolutely not take any help from them. In fact it is one of the qualities of really good friends that they are ever dependable. They would try and be there for you even when it isn’t the most convenient for them. Whether that means being there with you in person or supporting you mentally or even lending you emotional strength when you most need it, even without you saying it, good friends will forever have your back.
And they would be helping of you in a way that does not make you feel obliged. Rather, they indeed are so genuinely eager to help you out in all ways possible that you would feel grateful and blessed to have such folks in your life. Their effort is always so warm and assuring that you wouldn’t even feel like you are asking a favor out of them even when it is exactly what you are doing.
You can trust them with your life
From banking on them for everything to knowing full well that they will never go against you, you can well trust your good friends blindly. And this doesn’t only mean you can confide just about anything in them; it also translates to trusting them with yourselves as well so much so that you know they wouldn’t even let anyone speak ill about you. Good friends don’t backbite you neither do they speak such things about you that can make you the laughing stock in front of others. They are people with such trusting qualities that make them your very good friend.
They are generally sensible people
Imagine being friends with someone who sulks all the time, is forever complaining of stuff and finds such misery in existing that they make even your life a miserable existence. While it might be their very nature that leads some people to be forever discontented, that does not discount the fact that seldom can such people turn out to be good friends. You can sure empathise with such people and even feel bad for them but there will be a time when you would be invariably tired with all their cries and wallows. Because in their despair they also make you drown by constantly retelling stories of their own ill fated existence.
It is only natural and healthy to share your woes and sorrows with your friends. It’s even better to have a soul to comfort you out of your misery but that doesn’t allow for the fact that you can forever be so disillusioned and bitter that you can even be making other people sulk all the time. It requires some kind of sensibility to not be the person who plays the spoilsport every time. And while it indeed requires courage to speak about your misery, it is also important that you learn to get over it and not let your tears trickle down to others if you want to be a good friend to anybody.
Reciprocation means as much to them as it does to you
Relationships are always a two way things. Be it a romantic thing, a filial assertion or something that we develop out of our shared passions and fondness for someone, a bond develops only when the effort is mutual. Someone who understands the worth of your efforts and is more than eager to reciprocate them because they genuinely want you in their lives is someone with whom you can be really good friends.
There might be someone who values you enough but is not as receptive of your efforts as you are of them. Or there might be folks who seldom does anything a good friend should even when they claims you are one. Of course it might be in their very nature to not be very responsive or they might simply not know how to return the favour even when you don’t really expect them to, but as humans we are forever craving for reciprocation and this translates to friendship as well.
Being a good friend requires a little more than just a good heart. Friendship stems also from compassion and loyalty and efforts as much as it does from the connection which is why the ability and willingness to reciprocate counts so much as one of the most essential qualities of a good friend.