The many shades of narcissistic people

the many shades of narcissism

Narcissistic people can be hard to deal with. In their very nature, such people tend to be exerting, irritating and impossible as rational beings. It gets even worse when they lurk behind perfectly humane veils, spewing such venom and negativity that makes life difficult for all around them. Narcissism however is marked by certain characteristic traits that make it easier to decipher the dark streaks and devise means to steer clear of such shady existence. Here’s the many shades narcissism lives on through to make life difficult for all who concern them-

They want all the attention in the world

narcissism revolution
Source: Quillette

Whether it be wanting to feed off on some well deserved attention or even some not granted of it, attention is what you covet exclusively and unflinchingly. Because narcissists drown in self obsession and are excessively self validating people, they essentially believe that no one in the world can be more or even as important as them. This leads them to think that they deserve to be in the spotlight all the time, so that others acknowledge the superiority of them. Narcissists hold themselves in high esteem and want that everyone else would also adhere to this absoluteness of them.

They want to dominate as a leader

It’s also typical for a narcissist to always want to be the leader solely to assert their supremacy if not for anything else. While this is not to say that an inclination for leadership roles makes one a narcissist but such people who cherish the role of a leader just because they view it as a way to being able to dominate people speaks volumes of their perception of their superior self over others. Always wanting to be in control, narcissists particularly want to be the absolute leader because they think it would grant them exclusive power over others.

They spat at others rudely

Narcissists don’t stop at just controlling people. They very often also end up being extremely rude to them, even for no reason whatsoever. And the worse part is that they don’t even acknowledge that they are being mean. There is general tendency among such people to continuously be under the impression that they have been wronged which they feel justifies their attitude. They are vengeful people, taking offense at every instance and squandering no chance to pay back the wrong they have been done even when they most likely haven’t even been wronged.

They look down upon others

narcissistics look down upon other people
Source: GoodTherapy

The feeling of superiority that a narcissist grants to his own also entitles him to look down at other folks as stupid, or at least as inferior to him. This leads them to engage in arguments with others over asserting their know it all prominence a bit too blandly to others. In fact they might even resort to bullying against those who attempt to retort because these people simply need to get their way above others.

They are experts at blaming others

Narcissists also are very often such people who tend to play the blame game. They never take responsibility for their actions in case something goes wrong. Instead they go about shifting the blame to others so that there isn’t any conflict on their superior assessment of themselves. And more importantly they generally blame such people who they know are emotionally very receptive of them. This they do perhaps because they know they wouldn’t have to face a counter blame game because the ones that love them have always been yielding in to whatever they do.

They cannot look beyond themselves

Conversational narcissism
Source: Medium

Narcissists also cannot be people who nurture deep levels of empathy. Obviously for someone whose whole world revolves around I, Me and Myself, others do not even fit into the picture. This also explains why narcissists generally maintain only flinching, weak relationships. With their inability to go beyond the basics for anyone, it is unlikely that such people would be able to pursue committed relationships unless their peers are too adoring of them.

They merely toy about with relationships

Source: Spinditty

The relationships that narcissists pursue also tend to be shallow because they aren’t people who quite talk and accept about emotions. They believe emotions tend to render them vulnerable, which their ‘strong, independent personalities’ does not approve of. They hate having others have as much of an influence on them that might lead them to emote. Feelings are insignificant to them because it might lead them to put other people outside their own into consideration which frankly they don’t even want to be the substance of them.

They are excessively concerned about their physicality

narcissistic trait
Source: Bustle

The most visible trait of a narcissistic person is their immense attention to their physicality. These people consider themselves to be highly attractive and spare no expense and effort to look as good as possible. From spending inordinate amounts of time grooming themselves to rating themselves as highly desirable, narcissists do every possible thing to bolster their physical image of themselves. There however also can be narcissists who exclusively derive their superiority from the minds. They believe their mind to be so ingenious in thought that they feel entitled to undue appreciation of their self.

They are forever on the look out for validation

attention seekers

The assertion of the physicality of narcissistic people is not just an exploration in self obsession. It also is as much a showy affair, at least on social media or in such circles where they think they can garner all the attention for themselves. A multitude of selfies on their phones, obsessive pictures of themselves spelling their social presence to even putting up only such posts that can get them the likes, narcissists constantly feel the need to be validated.

They speak to assert authority

narcissists are bad listeners

Narcissists also cannot be people with the most effective listening skills. They seldom listen, instead waiting all the time for others to finish so that it is their time to speak and get the attention on themselves. Worse, they might even cut people abruptly just so they can be the center of attention. And once they get to speaking, it’s always a matter of exaggerations. From unnecessary emphasis on words, deliberate stress of diction, excessive or even aggressive hand movements, it’s totally possible to make out a narcissistic from the way they speak.

They can be lurking behind lies

Contrary to popular notion however, narcissists also can be introverted people. Usually also hypersensitive, shy, defensive and anxious, such narcissistic people tend to not come across as such in attitude. But they still adhere to basic narcissistic features like arrogance, superiority, conceit et al. In being narcissistic alright but not very apparent in sporadic encountered behavior, these people might be somewhat tricky to be adjudged as one of the tribe outright.

They cannot take criticism in their stride

The deep seating self assurance in which narcissistic behavior grows, it is not uncommon for these people to get extremely defensive when faced to criticism. This, even when they themselves might be fairly generous in their criticism and ridicule of others. Their criticism of what other people do is however more an outcome of their envy than of genuine expression of opinion. In struggling to hold their own over such people who they fear can outperfect them, narcissists resort to unreasonable judgement of them. However when they are subjected to the same treatment, they lash out even when the concerns might be quite well founded.