For something so relative and exclusive yet bindingly comprehensive, it’s indeed difficult to define what maturity is. It’s of course the ability to handle all things better and be more responsible of yourself. But there’s a catch- with every ounce conquered of maturity, you still have levels up to go. Because perhaps the perfectly matured individual does not exist, it becomes all the more difficult to attain this elusive distinction. We aren’t quite sure what exactly it means to be matured but we sure know what it means to be not! Here’s listing some very tell tale signs that define just how very immature you are at this stage of life-
You have an emotional reaction to everything
There’s nothing bad in having the strength to put forth your emotions. In fact feeling your emotions and also showcasing them only makes you all the more human. That however does not necessarily entitle you to react emotionally to every single thing happening in your life.
It’s okay to cry when you feel hurt, either emotionally or physically or howsoever. But crying shouldn’t be what you instantly set out on every time you are reprimanded for some wrong you did. There’s no way letting the tears out would undo something you had done and that which invariably calls for rebuke. And if you end up wallowing that no one loves you for the simple fact that they have been harsh on your for your wrong doings, then that’s a big enough sign you don’t now what is maturity as yet.
And that extends to your every feeling as well. You would experience anger and frustration, sadness and despair, fury and rage in every stage of life. But if you choose to react instinctively and emotionally rather than rationally, you would be one really immature person. Rather than resorting to instinctive reactions, it would do you better if you are able to exert better control over your feelings specifically in instances that do not call for it. Otherwise you will be called a kiddo all your life.
Determining priorities puts you in a mess of sorts
You have your final paper tomorrow but you think a video game will bring you the laurels. Your sister might be needing you at the hospital but you can’t make out whether to stick by your prior commitment or prioritise the moment. You are short on cash but you can’t decide whether to pick that chocolate bar or that milk carton in the supermarket.
If you can relate to any or all of these and such other similar instances, then you very much are immature. Whether it be simple everyday choices or more important life decisions, you are constantly torn between wanting to do one over the other. The hints of subtle importance underlying your tasks fail to speak to you as they should have as an assured, rational individual. Even when you make a decision, you are not too sure about it. When you know what maturity is, you will be able to say an emphatic yes or no to every thing depending on how much it matters to you. And that indeed should be the case once you are an adult. Not being able to decide on your priorities and not standing up to them is considerable show of immaturity.
You find yourself constantly dependent on others
Be it for your finances or every life decision, or even your choice of belongings and the accurate emotion portrayal, you are forever hankering after others to discover your true self. Indeed, seeking out the advice of others in crucial matters is only helpful. But being dependent on them at every stage of your life is not a good thing. Not only it speaks about your lack of understanding as to what is maturity, it also makes you a mere puppet in the hands of others. Unless you learn to exert your choices and make the right decisions for yourself, you will forever be at the mercy of people who might even be exploiting you without your knowledge. And in fact you need to be completely independent at least in your choices if you want to be an independent, matured individual.
Self control is something you have no control on!
Being sensible and mature does not only mean sorting things out by yourself. It is also about restraining yourself from wandering away from your decisions. Whether it be something as simple as not yielding in to the temptation of an extra piece of cake or more intimidating concerns like taking or not taking the plunge into marriage, you need to be sure of the control you have on yourself.
Maturity means you commit to something and take it upon yourself to make it happen, however tiring or uphill things might get. Be it your New Year resolutions or your life long goal, maturity lets you not lose focus and goads you onto doing what you had set out on achieving. You can’t be loosening the control and command you have over yourself and still expect to be called a mature individual. Maturity does not come easy to anyone- it is a rigorous regime of discipline and dedication that makes you the person fending off their childishness in as committed a manner as possible.
You experience FOMO far too often
People who have not grown enough yet to be completely at peace with themselves are the one who constantly fear out on missing the joys of the world. Inconsequential parties, decorated extravaganzas, flimsy show offs and many such other indulgences are not given the miss even by not too enthusiastic souls for fear of being the ones left out. There’s a constant pressure to go the way the flock does so that you are not left all alone. Even when it means trading your valuable time for lesser than important pursuits or letting your heart take offense, you do it anyway because well, you are just not matured enough.
Yielding in to enjoyment just for the sake of it is no enjoyment at all. Unless you do it at your own free will, relaxation does you more harm than good. Only when you do what interest you and ditch what does not will you earn the tag of being a mature individual. Otherwise, if you constantly let the fear of not mixing in get to you, you will remain an insecure, immatured kid all your life.
You are a pro at ‘passing the blame’ game
It takes the conscience of a wise person to own up your mistakes and express genuine regret over it. Anyone who knows what maturity is will agree that admitting your faults and striving to do them better makes you more human than what erring does. Because it is from our mistakes that we learn the most, we should also accord the due importance to them. There’s nothing worse than letting an innocent soul face the fury of a wrong conceived by you. So if you haven’t grown up enough yet and continue to indulge in the blame game, without a second though to what doom it might be spelling for others, then you are an extremely selfish child as yet.
Maturity means taking full responsibility of your deeds- good or bad- and facing the consequence(s) of it. It’s your wrongs that will help you emerge stronger and more seeped in maturity. So steer clear of the blame game right away if you don’t want to be labelled a kiddo all your life.
You don’t think once before you speak and twice before you leap!
It’s indeed the sign of maturity that you don’t let whatever senseless thinking that strikes your mind find full flow into your words. It’s necessary to filter and funnel your words carefully not only because it might hurt someone but also because it does not represent your true self. Many a times we fall victim to such spells of thoughts that manifest from our subconscious rather than being an expression of our feelings. No wonder adages of days older have forever cautioned us to be wise with our words and actions.
You emerge as a matured individual when you start processing well your thoughts before proceeding to work on them. Because you have to tread on finer lines in this world that takes offense at the least meanest of things, it would do well for your individuality to let the grown up thinking perpetuate. Also because maturity requires you to take full responsibility for your actions, it’s indeed essential that you don’t let yourself do such things that would be too heavy a burden to partake of for you.
Tantrums are your absolute favorite!
You know those on screen drama queens who irritate you to no end with their tantrums? Or those fussy stars who lose all your respect once you know just how much flare ups they generate? Well if you are also one among those types who take resort to every itsy- bitsy means to throw fits and tempers, then no one definitely would sing praises about your person. Just because you failed to get hold of your favorite salad does not mean you should skip lunch altogether. Just because your colleague got a raise does not mean you should be so bitter that you end terms with them.
There’s tremendous skill involved in handling conflicting life situations as these and it’s only when you are matured enough to develop some of these will you be able to tick right the boxes of maturity. Otherwise, there’s no use fussing over how unapathetic your fellow beings can be every time you act up with so much drama.
You spend recklessly
Of course it’s your personal choice as to how you choose to manage your finances but ever matured individual knows it is absolutely necessary to not while away all of your money. Whether that be your hard earned bucks or some parental allowance, maturity calls you out to save for the rainy days.
Because maturity is brought on by foresight and wisdom, it’s better if you choose to let future liabilities prepare from the present itself. You sure would spend- there’s no reason as to why you wouldn’t indulge after all those hours of hard work. But there needs to be a limit even to the extravagance. You need not be thrifty, all you need to let some maturity kick in is spend judiciously and be conscious enough of probable forebodings. There’s no way you can be completely broke every month end and still want to be called mature. That’s letting ignorance- or even foolishness- be bliss at best.