It’s tough being a loser. Nobody might be saying that in stark statement of facts, opining rather how it is winners who have had experienced a whole world of roughness. For sure they have. Because success is so much of a gamble brought unto those who dare to dream, but not after they have overcome failures and hurdles and ridicule, persisting throughout in their belief with a zeal that led them to the pinnacle of where they finally got to stand. Not to forget how, even after their brush with achievements, winners continue to be looked at with an eye reserved for speculation, as if their success has more to do with luck than strife. In overlooking the umpteen ways in which they have failed before registering themselves as seasoned players in this game of life, winners do not have the task cut out easy for them.
However, the substitution of facts pertaining to winners does not make the predicament of the loss any less profound. For let’s face it, while it indeed is essential to treat failures as pillars of success and not be disheartened by stumbling upon any number of these stepping stones, it’s easier said than done. Taking failure to heart is something very instinctive to all of us, despite the many prevailing proverbs that urge us to act otherwise. For the despondence of defeat strikes most poignantly only those who have had the misfortune of facing it, in all its ignominy. Unless that blow of what you choose to term as fate or destiny or admit as some shortcoming on your own part accrues to your own self in its most personal of manifestations, it’s not easy to even apprehend just how debilitating that one instance of defeat can be for you at that moment, or even something you would be carrying as a burden all through your life.
Many a times however, the world inspite of its many professing about how there exists success even in losing for it teaches us such profound truths of life as humility and acceptance and all, is not very kind to losers. Even in the mere mention of the word, ‘losers’ sounds already like a rebuke, much like someone who perhaps has forsaken all of their worth for one single failure of theirs. While paradoxical indeed this dual attitude towards loss and failure is, it is no less ‘tyrannical’ as well. The reference here might not be appropriate but why we are drawing this parallel would not be lost on anyone if you tend to view just how harshly the society treats those who have not managed to make it ‘big’ in life. It is as if the mere identity of someone is not worth enough to hold them in respect as an individual and that what someone does is always, always attached a kind of elevated importance that overrules who they are and who they tend to be. ‘You are what you do’ is an adage the world seems to have pursued a bit too far, to the extent that being a breathing, surviving and existing life form on this earth does not guarantee any ounce of the respect and right you should be entitled to as an individual, even under the purview of basic human rights recognising the inherent value in each one of us, if not anything else.
Of course, every individual take on winning and losing would be very different from the view that society collectively offers as a whole. With any number of interpretations, being a loser or a winner therefore would mean different things to each one of us that which perhaps cannot be most accurately described by a singular collective approach to it. Apart from also the two very obvious reactions that dwell at the extreme ends of the spectrum, it of course is given that winning and losing does not strike the same chord with everyone. Particularly, in pertaining to the larger notion of life, such ‘integral’ of life goals also harness the ability to manifest themselves in diverse capacities. For someone immersed in the arts, something as simple as a note of appreciation from their admirers would suffice as a case of the win. But for the family of such an artiste who considers their talent as useless enough to have made them the black sheep, this is what they would sigh upon their destiny as bestowing them with a loser. A business person believes they have made it big by usurping the right of someone even when they might perhaps be suffering the biggest loss in life- that of such attributes that makes them humane. In such vast anomalies of how wrong or how right wins and losses respectively can be, this whole tendency to eulogise winners and mock losers is an exercise in futility.
That person you term a loser because he failed to acquire a high paying job might be living a life of such bliss that even the winner in you cannot rightfully claim to be yours. Eventually, it all boils down to what your expectations from life are. But in letting our life digress from how we want to live it to trying to get an insight of how the world expects us to do so, we are often left not just ruing but also doubting our own worth and identity. In a world always pressurising us to achieve the best things in life, be it materialistic or intellectual or just about anything worth ‘acquiring’ on the radar, it is not surprising that very often we tend to lose sight of ourselves. Frowning upon us forever is a rather radical view of life that sustains with all vigor and vitality, emphasising its case to such extents that compel us to decimate our own selves, at least in perception. In chasing therefore the greater world view of what we need to be making of our existence, we end up being the real losers, succumbing to such pressures of expectations that make a mockery of our identity as individuals of worth. It indeed is a really sad state of affairs when a free soul for whom the joy of life resides in the ambient arms of nature is forced to discover a world set in such premises that which defy altogether their perception of the good life. As they stumble upon the new found ‘meaning’ of life that which to them is but a mere complication of the simple nature of their existence, they lose not just their selves but also the sense of their own. And thus they emerge as not even a faint shadow of their most innate selves, but rather an existence skewed by such morphed ‘realities’ of life that drains the very life out of them. That spark of joy that had them exuberant and spirited simply by virtue of being alive is now a treacherous haunt of such misgivings that leaves them lifeless and barren because they have been taught to not pursue the things that matter to them and instead indulge in the rote learning of a routine that does not in any way further their interest in life. Struggling therefore to make amends for what they had allowed themselves to miss out on their entire lives because they had been naïve, ignorant souls too pure to decipher such a meaning to their lives that goes outside their vocabulary of beautiful realisations, they are the ‘losers’ whom the world chides enough that they are forced to embark on the winning path, not taking into consideration the conflicts of their innermost soul that which would have rather found happiness in their blithe, their state of ignorance. In designating a whole fulcrum of such lives as winners by managing to rob them off their essence, our world indeed has come a long way in ensuring that the ‘realities of life’ are not lost on anyone, whether they be someone caring enough of unearthing the meaning inherent in the mystery of existence or not. Endowing enlightenment therefore on the losers of the world so that they emerge rather as the success they are capable of, despite all their desires to decipher happiness otherwise, life indeed is fair to none by being hard on all. Such are the extravagant ways of the world!