How to take responsibility for your own happiness and take charge over it

you are responsible for your own happiness

Striving to live a happy life- that’s just how intricately related our very existence is to the enigma of happiness. Even in pursuit of all the luxuries and riches in life, all we are looking forward is to a blissful experience, devoid of worries and steeped in pleasure. Deriving joy in the simplest of pleasures and the most ‘insignificant’ of memories- aren’t we all just souls seeking smiles and cheers? But even in all our treasure hunting for that elusive showering of what encompasses happiness, seldom do we encounter it in its everlasting form. That’s because we tend to think happiness as a derived phenomenon when in reality it is something stemming innately of us. Sorrows sure can bog you down and hardships indeed can make you let out sighs. But if your spirit is one forever believing in the power of good cheer and joy, then happiness is yours.

Naturally then, the most exclusive requirement for you to be a happy person is to take sole responsibility of it. Because your life and happiness is nobody else’s concern, no one has the obligation of spreading glee unto you. Unless you harbour a spirit that resides in conviction about yourself and backs you no matter what, you will be forever left chasing after happiness but to no avail. And that is exactly where the problem lies. Because happiness isn’t a possession to be chased. Rather it’s a feeling of liberation and deep contentment that needs to make its way into your life for the most perfect living experience there ever can be.

So exactly where do you need to start to ensure that your happiness is entirely and exclusively yours? We will tell you where-

Learn to ace acceptance

Acceptance is a wonderful thing and perhaps one of the most understated of virtues in life. Whether you seek closure in acceptance or rise to freedom in it, there’s a whole world of wonders waiting to greet you at the very first speck of acknowledgement. There’s no use denying a despair you very obviously are drowning in, in the hope that ‘putting up a brave face’ will help matters. Because as long as you choose to sideline your worries by pretending that they do not exist at the first place, you are only deceiving yourself. Which for sure isn’t the sign of an individual happiness would like to partner with.

What you can and therefore must do to be happy is to accept the reality of life. There’s perhaps no person on earth more responsible than someone who has the courage to accept their fate, no matter what. Till the time you don’t face life in its true elements because you are too nonchalant in brushing them aside, you can’t be at peace with yourself. Because you will be forever manifestant in the knowledge that what you are living is almost a lie. And because contentment is such a crucial prerequisite for happiness, you now know exactly where your responsibility lies.

Make happiness your habit

The one step we all falter at in pursuit of happiness is in viewing it as a luxury. But people who have been blessed enough to know the feeling of true happiness will realise that happiness isn’t anything exotic; it is as commonplace an emotion than any other. The more we tend to view happiness as something that will irrevocably change our lives, the more we lose out on it. It is that unrealistic expectation we harbour from happiness that makes it seem so surreal and therefore places it out of our reach.

There truly isn’t any more simple a feeling in life than what happiness encompasses. We can gain joy out of our daily cup of tea, out of a flower blooming in all glory, out of a genuine compliment or even out of a nostalgic whiff of memory. The catch here being that we need to realise that every moment can grant us happy feels, irrespective of how mundane or trivial it might seem. Once you take it upon yourself to look for happiness in every place, happiness will follow you like a habit. And only then it will cease to be the teasing fleeting entity you have forever chided it for being.

See happiness realistically

You only will end up unhappier than ever if you seek happiness in the wrong places. There’s no way you can be stumbling on a happy paradise if the path you are treading on is one that only leads you to darkness. It’s therefore important to view happiness as a realistic emotion that you can covet instead of wishing for it like the unattainable presence you suppose it to be. You can’t be pursuing someone who clearly isn’t into you in the hope that someday they might just reciprocate your feelings and you would then emerge the happiest person in the world. It’s unrealistic expectations as these that tags happiness as a burden when all that it should be is pure bliss.

A realistic vision of all things in life is a foremost necessity if you don’t want to end up disillusioned. It is somewhat one of life’s paradoxes that only when you are fully acceptant of its spate of stark realities that you unearth the dreamy paradise it can lead you on to. Seeking happiness not just as a responsibility but also responsibly is therefore what should be the ideal ground. Because only then would it enable you to make your way towards it, irrespective of how far flung a proposition it might sound like. Knowing exactly where to look for the happiness that can make your life a continuous journey of laughs and smiles, of glee and contentment is most vital in charting out a living delight, one that grants you peace of mind and a sense of fulfillment sans any sighing fancies.

Make conscious efforts at being happy

Because happiness isn’t always about extravagance and once in a blue moon affairs, it means that you can seek happiness with little fuss. Suppose that you have had a chance encounter with an adorable child that had you smiling for the rest of the day. Or let’s say that you dined so well that it coaxed you away into the utopia of bliss that occurs from an ordinary but deeply enriching indulgence. So with simple things like these to your rescue when it comes to ushering in happiness, why not consciously make attempts towards the same?

If spending time with children or pets makes your day, go visit a shelter home. If food is what that makes you truly happy, then grant yourself the luxury of gluttony every once in a while. Or if flowers can drive you to ecstasy, then plant a garden. Once you realise that your happiness is your absolute and unwavering responsibility, then you wouldn’t even need any further telling on what you need to do to be a happy person. It is only when you expect happiness to boomerang you in complete surprise, would you be left forever whining and pleading for it. Working your way towards happiness so that it can work its way back to you is all the responsibility you need to be taking on yourself. That’s all it would take to emerge a truly happy soul.

Be grateful

Source: Tiny Buddha

It is a happiness of a different kind that you experience when you make the art of gratefulness a part of your life. This might sound so much like a contradictory proposition. Afterall it is the receiver of the gratitude that should be left beaming with joy and accomplishment. But the two way benevolence that gratitude grants, you would never be poorer in the riches of true contentment.

So whether you are grateful that you have a house to live in and a loving family to support you or you simply are happy for that new phone you have as a present, make your gratitude known in no uncertain terms. Gratitude dwells in not just being thankful of what you have. It also resides in your own perception of the world. Being appreciative is a choice. Which means that if you inculcate such a worthy nature in your being, you will most likely end up more happier than what you would have otherwise. There is the essence of kindheartedness at play here on one hand while on the other there rests the immensely fulfilling experience that being a partaker of this generosity brings to you. Either way though, it’s only your happiness that is bound to expand beyond measure.

Commit yourself to happiness

committed to happiness
Source: BetterHelp

Like they say, nothing in life is impossible. So if you can commit yourself to a relationship however imperfect that might be only with the goal that you need it no matter what, you as well can commit to the more encompassing pursuit of happiness. After all, all that you do in life, from relationships to careers and every other thing is not worth a dime if it does not let you enjoy life in its most blissful state. What else is life for, if not to be happy? Being committing to a bond simply because it makes you happy and complete is itself a manifestation of how you are willing to do anything for happiness. Let therefore the more holistic quest of total happiness drive you into total avowing with it to the extent that happiness becomes not just a requirement of life but the very way of it.

Realise where your responsibility lies

It indeed is the perplexing circle of life that in understanding how we alone are responsible for our happiness we are back at staking identification of the very point of responsibility. But because there can be no way of starting out when you don’t know where to begin at the first place, it becomes necessary to reiterate about the same.

It goes without saying that the acknowledgement of your happiness as your exclusive responsibility automatically eliminates the excuse you can play along to by shifting the blame to others. The moment you assertively decide to take responsibility of your own, you depowerify others who might have had a subtle but significant created impact on your being. Which means that people who were lurking around to pounce down at the slightest possible hint of a joy streaming towards you would be no longer your reason for happiness. Neither can they be the reason behind the lack of it.

Why this step is so important is because we unknowingly let people influence our lives. Even when they are totally insignificant to our being, we rely on others for acceptance. No one on earth is better or worse off without someone else even when we tend to think otherwise. Relying therefore on others to be happy is a farce we all entertain even when it leads us nowhere on the happy path. Let therefore people have no power on your standing if you really want to seek true happiness in life.