A lot of couples are falling in love over the internet. In simpler words LDR – long distance relationship is the purest way to test love. Some fall in love with someone they’ve never met, and some have to live miles apart due to their personal life and career.
Do you believe in this phrase – love can conquer all.
Well, most probably you do. With the world getting smaller every day, the distance between you and your partner matters less.
If you are living in different cities, different states or even different countries, you still can do a lot of things to make your long-distance relationship last.
However, there comes a time when things get tough and extremely challenging.
Sure, it is tough to maintain a long-distance relationship, building trust.
And people tend to doubt the relationship and question themselves – is the other person trustable? Am I perfect for him/her? Is he/she cheating on me? Is a long distance relationship holding me back? Will this relationship be rewarding?
There’s so much to question and answer? Insecurities? And the distance. If you’re looking forward to keeping the loving spark in a long distance relationship – read till the end.
Let me enlighten you with some tips and rules…
What makes a long-distance relationship great?
There are so many great things that make a relationship work. But the most important thing is focus/intention. It’s an important aspect for all kinds of relationships. It may be a long distance relationship, a long marriage, or just getting married, or a new online relationship.
First understand – Relationships can be practiced. It is a practice, how?
As you might be aware of these facts that – forgiveness is a practice, mental health is a practice, happiness is a practice. Just like that if you want a successful relationship, take it as a practice.
In a relationship you have to practice intention. The right intention goes a long way in a relationship. You’ve to do the right thing again and again.
As every couple understands that they want to be kind, supportive, passionate, loving and caring all the time. But as a human, we tend to let our ego get over good intentions and sometimes as a result relationships catch overflowing, unnecessary, devastating emotional fire.
However, maybe the situation will be kind to each other. And trust each other. Take time to understand each other.
And if you ever get a chance to meet – hold them tight! You’ll regret it if you don’t. Remember – touch is important. The small and sweet gesture is important.
Small truth – in a relationship, you should feel relaxed when you see them, when you talk to them. If things are opposite, like – if your other half makes you feel anxious, stressed then maybe you’re with someone you don’t fit in.
So, the first and foremost rule for a great relationship is – you’ve to follow and practice good intentions.
Tip – Right down what you want in the relationship? Ask each other what do you want? Ask what it is I can do today?
Why? Because our brain is a mess, we think too much about this and that and, in the process, we lose focus.
Certainly, as we think too much, we’ve so much to say… and we tend to say things which we shouldn’t be saying in the first place.
Let’s begin with – what’s a long distance relationship? And why?
Falling in love? It’s human nature. We fall in love very fast naturally. We don’t know when we get attracted to the other person or get attached to them. So, it’s natural for a person to fall in love even though you are miles away from each other.
Furthermore, as the present generation is more mobile and traveling or pleasure, work for a few days, months is very common. Moreover, a long-distance relationship is good, actually it leads to a beautiful wedding or a great partner for a long-lasting relationship.
And with the advancement of technology, long distance relationships are not as difficult as they used to be.
You must have seen, experienced yourself or heard from a friend of yours – sometimes seeing each other every-day, or when people get married, they usually want to spend more time with each other.
This can make it difficult for some couples to stay together if one of them leaves for work, school or gets busy with work.
In between these everyday chores, one might emotionally feel like their emotions and feelings are unseen, right? and come to the conclusion that you two aren’t a good fit? Or maybe it’s time to leave the relationship?
Just because the other half isn’t able to give you much time.
Well, yes! A long-distance relationship is a hard nut to crack, even in the best situations. In other words, it is the most challenging relationship you can ever be involved in.
Also, it takes a lot of work and effort to sustain a long relationship. However, with some simple rules you can make it work.
I know long distance relationships take your energy but it is also rewarding, right?
There are different rules and protocols that you need to follow to keep the relationship strong and healthy. These rules and protocols vary from couple to couple.
They depend on what you can and cannot do, and they also depend on what is important to you and the other person.
Like I said above – the first tip, understand what you want and ask what your other half expects and wants. Be transparent when it comes to your needs and wants. Alright?
Long distance relationship risk and challenges?
Before moving to the rules and protocols, let’s discuss the risk and challenges of a long-distance relationship. Take notes if you’re someone who wants to get into an online or long-distance relationship.
Thanks to social media, group chats and video calling, you can practically see your partner every day. However, the advent of technology has also brought some new challenges for online/ long-distance relationships.
It becomes increasingly difficult to deal with the emotional aspects of a relationship, especially when you’re away from the person who is providing you with all your love and support.
Sometimes – long distance relationships can turn into a toxic relationship, regardless of connection. Well, I would say it totally depends on the couple.
Here’s a list of challenges that couples in long-distance relationships have faced until now. With them I have shared some tips to overcome it.
If you can relate with them – let us know what you feel and think in the comment section below.
Nothing much to talk about
Well, it is very common in a relationship, lack of topic to discuss can lead to lack of communication. In a long-distance relationship couples try very hard to keep their attraction alive.
Regardless of lack of topics, you find yourself repeating the same old conversation again and again. Somehow, slowly the spark between the couples starts to fade.
If you don’t understand and take the right action when this phase comes, it can develop a huge gap in between couples. Which can lead to break-up eventually.
Tip – Relax and enjoy the silence.
You don’t have to keep the conversation going on. Simultaneously talking, sometimes some silence is also good. If you’re comfortable when the other half is silent and doing their work, you’re practicing patience.
One day a phase will come when you’ll be married with your other half, and will get busy in building your career or in your job… which will eventually decrease the amount of time you can spend together.
And the silence and distance you practiced during your LDR, will come handy during these phases of life.
Expecting for immediate reply or answer
You must have experienced these so many times, you sent a text and then impatiently waited for the other half to reply or answer – right away.
Every couple has experienced these, some slowly grow into more understanding better half but some grow into aggressive, impatient and needy.
The expectation becomes a habit which slowly hampers the relationship.
Tip – be understanding and have patience
Everyone is somewhat busy in their own life, have their chores to handle… it is not reasonable to expect a right away answer or reply.
If you practice patience and give them some space, you’ll eventually understand what’s going on, on the other side. And this practice can grow trust between couples.
I know it can be frustrating and might kill your excitement, however ask yourself does your expectations play a big role in your relationship?
Or instead, you should be utilizing that time and working on yourself.
A sense of growing apart
Don’t worry, you’re not alone who is feeling these – millions of people out there in Long-distance relationships are facing these right now.
When couples move far away from each other, eventually couples draw some pause in their relationship. As life goes on and you two aren’t together.
However, taking this change in a relationship as a sense of growing apart can lead to an unsuccessful relationship.
Even if couples are deeply in love, distance in a relationship slowly causes couples to grow apart. And this is the hardest challenge of a long-distance relationship.
Tip – remember this distance is temporary
it’s common to feel like you’re losing the other half because of distance, however remember – distance is temporary.
See, as your routine changes, now make a new routine just for you two. Agree with each other’s decisions. If your mind and heart understand each other – a physical distance won’t matter.
Bonus tip – take this alone time to build yourself, love alone cannot feed you. So, work on your career, get financially strong and eventually you’ll see things going like you wished.
You kid, feeling insecure, do you? What for? Don’t you trust your other half? Insecure that he/she will find someone better? Do you think someone can love your partner better than you do?
Afraid of getting hurt? I’m not good enough for him/her? He/she changing? We argue too much, this might be a toxic relationship?
Well, just like any other challenges, this is also very common among young couples, don’t worry even matured enough people get insecure sometimes.
This sense of insecurity, leads to the often need of reassurance and constant encouragement.
Eventually it becomes chronic like cancer which leads to jealousy, grief, accusations, unnecessary expectations and demands etc.
The effects – you start taking impulsive decisions – which destroys trust, love, patience and the connection.
So, what to do?
Tip – be transparent to the other half
If you keep the things to yourself, it’ll hamper the communication and slowly the unexpected will happen.
So, be transparent and talk about your insecurities.
Share them what you’re feeling, ask them what they’re feeling, talk about it and get over it together.
Text them, call them, email them, write an old-fashioned letter… do things creatively. Remember – the solution to all problems is communication.
Misunderstanding or miscommunication visits a relationship without any invitation – it’s inevitable.
It occurs even if couples are staying together and even in long-distance relationships.
Tip – remember, our emotions play with our brain – we misunderstand others if things don’t turn out as we wanted.
So, when it happens, you feel hurt or confused over what he/she said…take some time to understand the situation, and don’t let sad hormones take over your emotions.
Sometimes what we hear and analyze is not always true. An impulsive response can lead to disaster. Alright?
It’s human nature, we sometimes tend to ghost people out of our life. We stop engaging with people when we’re not able to keep the same level of energy. But is it alright to do?
Suddenly blocking the number? not replying? not picking up the call? Why? See, this kind of situation leads to frustration, self-doubt and doubt in relationships.
Tip – if you’re ghosting the other person – ask yourself, why? Write it down. Ask again, is it necessary?
What did the other person do to face sudden ignorance? What led to such a behavior? What emotion are you trying to hold or hide?
Answer them all…and speak it out to them or rather ghosting them make it clear to your partner that you need some space and time.
Remember – communication is the key to all the problems.
If you’re being ghosted – then prepare for the worst, just worrying won’t give any fruitful result. Understand that the other half is human too… if they come back, don’t forget to let out your frustration.
If we keep on discussing the challenges and risks that a long-distance relationship faces, this blog won’t end easily.
So, if there’s any tips and challenges you’ve faced that I haven’t mentioned above… do share in the comment section below. Many couples would like to know your experience.
Keeping the main topic in mind, let’s discuss some simple and amazing rules to make a long-distance relationship great. Do you want to know?
Rules to make a long-distance relationship great
- Avoid jealousy and unnecessary arguments
- Make sure to plan a date
- Take advantage of advent technologies – use visual technology.
- Avoid excessive talking
- See the distance as opportunity to grow as an individual
- Set some rules and routine for your LDR
- Avoid situations that can hamper the trust between you two
- Do things together (online)
- Set a future goal
- Be transparent to each other – loyal and honest
- Understand each other’s schedules
- Keep track of social media activities
- Gift them some personal objects – souvenir
- Trust, care, support, and stay positive
- Keep each other updated about your life in other side
- Create intimacy – be romantic while talking in phone or flirt in text
- Say I love you – as much you can
- Celebrate important dates – like birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
- Take time and flash back to the good days you’ve spend together
Do all the possible things to nurture your relationship. If it’s meant to be it’ll be. I hope these tips will help you build your long-distance relationship stronger.