No single thing in the world is immune to the dangers of limitations. Even a feeling as pure and strong as love submits itself to the bindings. Too less of emotional availability and you are abandoned, too much of it and you are drained. It’s therefore necessary to strike a balance in whatever you do and feel in life so that you don’t end up losing yourself. Here’s 7 reasons why it’s good to be selfish at times and not end up loving someone more than you can afford to do-
Because love is a waste of time anyway
When we say don’t love too much, it is only after knowing that you will anyway despite our many attempts at making you realise how love is nothing more than just a waste of time. Be it the many vagaries of emotions or the profound miseries of heartbreak, love has always been futile. Of course, not everyone will want to accede to this notion for love to them is a fantasy that allows them to break free from the bearings of the world, albeit monetarily. Because there remains such an innate yet intense fascination for the magic that love supposedly possesses, the whole wide world breaks loose at the mere mention of it. Yet it is only to a certain good measure that you should love- if you can’t do without any of it at all- if you don’t want the romance to be your path to repentance.
Too much love is also too much risk
When you love too much, you might feel like being the happiest person in the entire world. Yet this burst of undue happiness is perhaps only a beckoning for the misery the future has in store for you. However eloquent you want to and indeed do wax about love, always be rest assured that too much of everything is never good. When you allow your feelings to surge a bit too high, you are also putting yourself at greater risk of what is to follow. Whether that be a bitter breakup or the sorrow of a one- sided love, the more you nurture your feelings, the more will be the pain you would have to endure.
Expectations from your love life will always exceed its reality
Expectations stem from when you desire what is way behind the reality. Undue expectations does not just go unfulfilled, they also go exalting to the point that they become totally unrealistic. Naturally when you love someone more than you should, you would also expect from them all the much more- perhaps even more than what they would be willing to give. As expectations increase and reality becomes less and less pleasurable, it’s inevitable that the intensity of your emotions will leave you wallowing and sulking more than what you can possibly handle.
Loving too much can also be pushing bae away from you
You might think that when you love too much and too hard, you are binding your partner to yourself all the more. However, that’s hardly the case especially when your person is not the kind to be fond of too much affection. Too much of care and worry in this case would only push them away from you because you might even be congesting them with so much of your yearnings! However sweet enamored glances may be, not everyone likes to have eyes constantly on them. The same with gestures that are so romantic that they tend to be overwhelming and worse, even riveting. Naturally then, you need to constrict your feelings also since it can be the very reason that can drive bae away from you.
You tend to have less of yourself when you love the more of others
Loving someone so much can be a very immersive experience no doubt- one that not just immerses you wholly but also seeks to drown you in others. It’s scary to even think of a love so deep that you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into that abyss out of which there is no coming back. This spiral of endlessly and overwhelmingly falling for someone is so suffocating and so trapping that you lose yourself in it completely. Perhaps even to the extent that you would be so filled with the thought of others that you don’t even have some of your own self left. And this isn’t just scary, it’s ridiculous as well. Because you are an individual who needs to be the priority at least for yourself and it’s utterly condemnable if you lose yourself and your uniqueness to any pursuit whatsoever.
Don’t love too much if you don’t want to exert yourself more than you can
Loving someone can be liberating but loving them much more than what you can possibly be giving of can strain you to extremes. Emotions are exerting and the more the intensity of what you feel for someone, the more the stress you are subjecting yourself to in letting that unabated love flow. Relationships are tremendous work and the more you bind yourself to someone because the more you find yourself loving of them, the more is the intensity with which you are draining yourself out.
The more the affection, the greater and unhealthier the dependence on it
When you start developing feelings for someone, you are inevitably preparing yourself for a life time of dependency on them. We are not saying that’s bad, in fact it’s nice that you are emotionally so connected to someone that they feel like a part of your being. Over time as the feelings intensify and the attachment grows, you become so inherently rooted in them that it becomes difficult to pull yourself out of their existence.
Naturally then when you are so loving of someone that even a wrong move on their part will likely leave you strangled in the feels, you are preparing yourself for doom. It could be many things very insignificant or something very profound, yet as you let your attachment grow you will end up heartbroken at even mere altercations or at every misunderstanding. For your own sake and for the sake of maintaining your freedom as an individual, you should never venture too much into the world of love.