So you thought love is all you need to float through the dreamy realities that those first sparks of romance has made you feel it would be? Cute indeed. But guess what, even the assertion of such pleasantness tends to wear away when they become routine occurrences in much commonplaceness therefore. Even that would be somewhat fine though but consider the stark contrast of what you had been experiencing all through come to be the reality and one would come to be much disappointed indeed in the sheer lack of dimension that love is made to stand out in.
Out of the many, many things that love cannot ever do without for anyone loving first of all their own self, the residing in respect is one of the most important. And while self respect indeed is the first ideal in preserving the true essence of love, no matter how deep and profound and passionate and real and anything and everything it might be, it also is the respect accorded by the one who professes to love that needs to be equally important. In fact as one of the most important characteristics of love that which does not accompany it but instead is imbued in its very essence, respect between partners if of crucial consideration in furthering a healthy and truly loving romantic relationship.
Here’s how to know if you are with someone really worth your love in terms of the respect they accord to every aspect of your person-
They aren’t abusers
Abuse does not always mean the most obvious case in physical mistreatment or even the understood reference in calling names. Abuse occurs also as each of the hurtful word they hurl at you when in the midst of an argument or under the exertion of anger, including the very ‘general’ fore of resorting to the use of unacceptable language. It also is not about the language always but pertaining also to the delivery of them in intimidating, threatening assertions of what is intended. Someone who does not hesitate to humiliate you on the pretext of their state of emotional volatility is also likely bearing of that same consideration of you otherwise, even when subconsciously perhaps. But whatever might be the ground and reason and mannerism of such behavior, abuse in any form does indeed amount to utter disrespect.
They aren’t convenient mockers either
The thing about human feelings is that there isn’t any single interpretation of them. Something that might be outrageous to you might be not even mildly infuriating to others. And herein lies also a scope in much hypocrisy that we therefore further as part of our nature in seeking cleverly convenient ways to demean others. Much like even the one who loves you might do, in terms that can be as direct or as ambiguous as they choose it to be.
It is sad indeed that such form of disrespect can perpetrate through such lines of ‘play’ that we all indulge in some time or the other. But the constant ploy in having fun at your expense, by ridiculing say some behavior of you that they deem silly or exposing your most cringeworthy moment in public- specifically even when they know how badly it would get to you, is what counts as evident disrespect of your person. That they are ‘genuinely sorry’ afterwards and promise not to repeat it in future should be sufficient cause for righting you but that they still manage to have that issue crop up even between the two of you more than often points to a problem that needs to be attended to.
They do not lie, at least not to you
Someone who you proudly call your partner and usually emerges as the person you would like to spend your entire life with because you feel that connection with and comfort in their being should also be someone you are assured about. That is to say, you know for sure and it is for sure as well that no matter how unpleasant or unpredictable the impact of a truth might be, it still is what you encounter in every step of your relationship.
Tweaking the truth to some extent might be somewhat acceptable in some cases of life but not with someone you share every moment and feeling and experience of your life with. And a partner who even considers concealing the truth from you, in whatever justification and in whatsoever extent of sound logic is essentially who doesn’t respect you enough to deem you worthy in holding knowledge of something so essential so as to be actively chased away in its full assertion.
They will be listening and understanding and assuring
It’s a specific art to listen, a certain skill to understand and a particular flair to assure and is therefore some of the attributes that we may not all possess to exact amounts of them. But people can and do change in and with love which is why the one you lovingly call your bae tends to be all of these, even if just in your case. And no it isn’t any tremendous effort that it takes for them to emerge as such. For the very psychology of love is that makes people want to listen to their significant other not as obligation but in true desire for it.
Which is why a partner who is more often than not unwilling to listen to you is obviously someone who doesn’t love you, per se. And the fact that they remain unfazed by it is further sign also of the lack of respect on their part. Even with the ones that listen though, it also is essential to be understanding and not beginning to make assumptions and lash out as soon as something potentially contentious comes up. Someone who assures you their support even when making you realise the wrong you might have done and true enough to you to seek a way out of the mess together is one who is truly the loving, respecting and supportive partner that we all deserve.
They communicate
Love of course is no remedy for anything that you hoped it to be. And like everyone who has been in any sort of relationship- not necessarily romantic as well, we all know that it is possible to love someone to the moon and back and yet be as pissed off at or irritated by them at times. This is all well and good- to have a partner who is annoyed with you but when you constantly have to irritate them knowingly in nudging to let you know the reason for it, you should know that it isn’t just them who bears absolute right to get pissed off.
Every couple has arguments and disagreements and rough patches ruining their romance but till the time both the involved individuals are very clear in their communication with each other and are willing to do so as well, the relationship is one steeped in reasonable respect. Once they stop communicating because they believe you wouldn’t understand or be able to realise the crux of the issue is when they start to be disrespecting of you as a person by demeaning your reasoning ability of universal humanness.
They know the worth of your privacy
Even the most intimate of relationships require some extent of personal space to breathe in freely and independently of the attachment that it bears. And if your partner cannot seem to make sense of your want for some sort of privacy within the ‘all yours’ context in romantic defining, that’s because they aren’t respecting of your individuality. Specifically when they take all the luxury in attending to their own private time and indulgences but rue the lack of devotion on your part for wanting to take a break of not the breakup kind even, the evidence is clearly pointing of their inability to treat other people, you included, with a human realisation in respect.
They do not doubt you, ever
Whether that be as far removed considerations in regarding the extent of what you can do in drawing upon your calibre or instead the fact that you hanging out with your ex as a genuine formal reunion is nothing more than that- it takes respect indeed to hold someone in complete trust even with the most ‘perilous’ of concerning circumstances. A partner who does not trust you enough is isn’t someone who loves you so much so as to be ‘scared to lose you’, you know, in considering the latter case of reference. It just is a lack of belief in the integrity of your character asserting as disrespect that leads them to proclaim. As concerns the equally pertinent case of the former, it is a disrespect this time of your worth as a capable individual that has them being skeptical of what you can and cannot do.
They respect your presence in their life
What more appalling can a display in disrespect be than refusing to acknowledge someone supposedly special enough to be your life partner in the place you hold in their existence? Whether that be the social acceptance in letting their friends or family know about you as something mutually agreed upon or the more private and therefore more mattering as well context in taking you into account in every significant thing they do, a partner who loves and respects you will be forever seeking out of what you think and feel. Be it in asking for your opinion or even advice in issues of importance and considering them truly even when deciding to not always act along those lines, it is in respecting your individual identity and according you thus the place you think you hold in their life that makes your lover so eager to have your back and being.
