However preachy we might be about how it is failure that leads us to value success all the more and stuff like that, it’s an undeniable truth that being a loser sucks. Be it in life or in love or with all other happenings, none of us strives to fail. But fail we do. We never ask for failure, so naturally it becomes more a source of despair when it beckons us. It’s indeed tricky to overcome failure no matter how and where you stand in life. Specifically when it comes to love, averting failure becomes all the more difficult because of the very inexplicable nature of human emotions. But overcome we must so that we can lead a life more worthy. Here are some of the best tips on how to overcome love failure and move on in life-
Accept the reality
Why it becomes so difficult for so many people out there to overcome a love failure is because they choose to remain in denial most of the time. Indeed, the loss of love is a loss that you cannot fathom unless you have had that ‘been there, done that’ moment. It isn’t any physical wound that will heal, in fact it’s not even pain; rather what you feel is an emptiness that is so hollow yet so tiring that it exhausts you. And to avoid plunging into such misery, many forelorn lovers try doing away with the fact that their love is no more theirs to feel.
They constantly are trying to find hidden connotations within the obvious, desperately wishing for one last strand of hope that will prove that the love is still with them. But as days pass, this hope becomes more of a deliberate manifestation than a genuine intuition, so much so that they refuse to believe that they have failed in love.
This makes the healing process all the more difficult to embark on. Because you first need to understand a wrong to correct it, you also need to accept your failure in love if you want to overcome it. Denying the bitter reality and finding solace in a forged truth is inviting doom unto yourself. It’s therefore very essential that you first understand and accept your loss to get over it. Acceptance is the key to all liberations, hence submitting to your love destiny and accepting that your love is gone is the first step you can take in warding off its loss.
Forgive and forget
There are many things in life that are easier said than done and this one is exactly one of such paradoxes. While we know that it’s absolutely not possible to forget the one you love irrespective of whatever happened between you guys, it’s indeed possible to at least forget that they had been yours at some point of time. And that’s why it’s also so very essentially to bring foregiveness unto yourself so that your forgetting and healing journey becomes all the more easy.
Because unless you let go off all wrongs they had ever done you or everything that did not work out in the relationship, you will be left repenting and regretting that very love you so cherished at one point of time. Not only it means that a large chunk of your past will be forever bothering you, it also furthers your misery because you would be feeding on a double dose of negativity and remorse.
If you indeed want to overcome love failure, you need to learn to be more accepting. You need to be aware of the fact that not all love sees fulfillment and not every love you feel would be always meant for you. Once you have made peace with love and the loss of it, you would be better in dealing with such failure.
Remember and cherish
Even your failure in one love relationship would not be much of a regret for you if only you know how best to hold on to things that matter while realising how to overcome all the negativity. While you need to try your best to forgive and forget, it helps if you filter out all good things that love likely made you richer with so that you can move on from it without the bitterness and without letting the love aversion seeking to suck life out of you. Being grateful for all times when love made you feel the world was so beautiful or cherishing those moments that will serve a lifetime of happy memories for you is so crucial in not over riding love itself.
It’s indeed your good fortune that you had experienced that very special feeling that makes life all the more worthwhile. Instead of repenting therefore the failure of love, seek strength in all those times love had not let you down. Because no single thing, love included, is the be all and end all of life, take the failure as a learning experience that you only need to overcome and not obsess over with. Like they say, everything happens for a reason. All you therefore need to do is find the reason in your love and in its failure as well.
Pore deep into your self
Once you are involved in something that’s shattering and traumatic, it’s easy to blame yourself for all that went wrong. You constantly begin to find faults in yourself, thinking that if only you had handled things better, they would have been rosier. It’s natural to plunge into self-loathing as thoughts like you didn’t try hard enough or you are not enough seep deep within and seek to destroy you without you even realising it.
Equivalently, it’s also as easy to blame others for your loss. From blaming all those third party elements for debilitating your love life to envying all others who are happily together, it seems very convenient to shift the blame to others because you are in such a vulnerable state of mind that such bickering is all you can do. But while this is only customary to let the feel good vibes let crawl to you after your loss, it makes the decision to overcome your failure in love all the more difficult.
Once you have accepted your loss and lived the reality it’s crucial that you do a self check to overcome all baseless perceptions. A deep delving into the own soul helps because it does not let you destruct yourself with self loathing and also because it helps you accept the wrongs that stemmed from you. Just because you have had a loss doesn’t entitle you to deride others and have them in guilt for no reason whatsoever. Just like it’s necessary to accept the failure of love to overcome it, so is it absolutely essential to understand everything about yourself that might have contributed to this loss. This understanding is also necessary so that you do not fail yourself while trying to cope with the reality of love having failed you.
Take a break
Admit it or not, everything in life tends to get monotonous after a point of time. Be it love or life itself, it’s the very nature of routine to take a toll on you after sometime. Add to that the burden of having been through a love failure and you would need insane levels of energy to overcome such calamity. The easy and effective way out of such mess is to take a break from such routine and stress.
This break can be anything- you could go out of your way and land in a different place, you can choose to vibe with new people, you can pursue a hobby of your choice or you can even switch jobs! Because trying out a newer thing would require to invest more attention and at least wee bit more energy, it means that your focus on more exerting matters would gradually be on the wane.
That’s a good thing, specially when fussing over things that are out of your control is only leading you deeper into the turmoil. You can only overcome the failure of love when you can first get the fear of losing the one you love out of your mind. And there’s absolutely no better way than a break to divert your energy to such things that can and would really matter in driving you to hope. A break is the least you deserve after having gone through such emotional upheavals that the failure of love brings unto you.