An enigma for some, an absolute nonsense for others, love ain’t anything but a rarity. Falling in love might be one special experience but we aren’t quite sure whether it’s worthy of all the hype. Because in its incomprehensible essence, love needs to go beyond mere passion and steamy desires. For love denying, romance shunning folks like us, we fail to understand all about the craze that love commands. An absolute lie, shrouded as fantasy, we believe love is very well only a waste of time. But if you are among the ones tagging along the bliss that love supposedly brings, try negating our perceptions and we will give love to you. Otherwise though, just go through your notions once more as we set to destroy your favorite indulgence as the most unworthy waste of time-
You remain preoccupied all day, all night long
Whether it be pestering issues of ‘he loves me/ he loves me not’ or mundane everyday thoughts of whether you would be able to catch as much as a glimpse of your crush, taking the plunge into love isn’t easy. The charm that romance endures, it’s difficult to be enamored and not go completely insane professing the beauty of that thing called love.
But in exploring all the glory and basking in pleasures galore, what takes center stage is a preoccupation with love itself. So much so that even your own existence becomes secondary to the pursuit of the greater bliss of romance.
There’s *love* on your mind
Winning them over with sweet nothings or bowling them clean with random acts of chivalry sure is no bad deed. But tending to overrule all other indispensabilities in the name of love isn’t just lame; it’s foolish as well. How then can you not claim love as a waste of time if all it goads you into doing is love, love and love all the time?
It is the heart that loves, while the mind is expected to retain its stability. But every time you daydream off on the notion that romance is what drives life to fulfillment, you are ruining yourself. When love is so intense that it tends to get in and over your head rather than just stemming as pure blessing from the heart, you lose your vision in life. And that’s downright one of the scariest things that you can ever let happen to you.
You lose yourself
This is one of those manifestations of love that is just as appalling as it sounds. From twinning with#couplegoals to giving up on your favorite dish because well he can’t stand the smell of the garlic even in the bread, you cease to do things by yourself. More appallingly, you are even okay with it. Because you profess it’s love and everything’s supposedly fair in love and war!
Well if I need to be blatant with you all love- struck souls, your love is nothing but a glaring waste of time. Like why on earth would you be so carelessly sacrificing your individuality when what you are is an individual in the first place? Why let someone else dictate your likes and dislikes and take over all of your social media and your life as if you owe them like some zillions? Cutting the slack should never be going as far as this, specially when it’s to suit the whims and fancies of some one else.
Love has you feeding yourself on stress. And more stress.
Serious or otherwise, there’s no denying that romantic relationships are a different level of stress. To be or not to be remains the strongest bone of contention even between seemingly happy couples. There are also the sidekicks to make any dawn of logic as impertinent as could be. Whether it be agreeing on the perfect age to settle down or arguing over quitting the job that requires you to relocate, seemingly simple happenings of life tend to become botherings in a relationship.
From amicably settling issues between your family and hers to treating them all the same, from wishing each of the 12 cousins a happy anniversary to planning surprises, love sometimes drains you out with stress like not even life can. Having to make it through existing and adulting and living, love indeed is not worth all the problems it adds on to your already burgeoning life struggles. You might get lucky and be better off with love but you sure are n’t any worse without wasting your time on it.
The distraction is real!
Obsessing over having your girlfriend as your very own or fretting over your boyfriend’s every random conversation with some girl, love does not let you take some easy breaths. A mind cluttered with the silliest of thoughts or the most inconsequential of ‘what- ifs’ isn’t a mind well focussed. Over the times, even minor inconveniences in your love life seeks to bring you down. Whether it be not getting her favorite flowers on her birthday or forgetting the anniversary date, just about anything can spell doom for you.
It doesn’t matter if it’s the most trivial of things or some epic disaster in history, love won’t let you be at peace. As your existence becomes mere drudgery and less lovely, you realise the panache with which romances can ruin lives. But you cannot just run out of it yet because that will lead to another ‘gargantuan tumult’. And no we aren’t engaging in battle lexicon because we are some fight specialist. It’s because of the uncanny resemblance that love bears with conflict that has us in this spate of spewing extremities.
Love is unnecessary complications
You are single and carefree, travelling and living, eating and drinking. And one day suddenly you fall in love. And things start getting topsy turvy.
It will be all well and fine at first. Till your euphoria has the better of you, you ain’t complaining. But come to meet expectations and face reality and there will be love smirking an evil laugh at you. You can’t drink because she can’t see drinking as anything but a vice, she can’t travel even with friends because heck, you think there could be predators lurking. Whatever you do, you are always pushed to do a little better for someone else’s sake. Even your expectations are unrealistically skyrocketing. If these aren’t complications that wouldn’t have stemmed from a commitment, then life would have been simpler. But fed on the superficial idea of dreamy love as you are, what you yearn for is some affection. And what you end up losing in pursuit of that love is an indulgence that is a waste of your time like all others.
Friends over bae? Not happening!
There’s no soul poorer than the one who does not understand the worth of friends and the joys they bring to life. Your friends had been your world all the time you were single but one step into the wonder world of love and you are a changed (wo)man. That’s not cool, not for your friends,not for you and specially not for the person you once aspired to be.
Remembering your people only when you feel lonely or are left in the depths of a darkened existence, courtesy heartbreak is the worst form of you you can be. You can’t really claim these people as your own if you can’t be responsible enough for them. Friendship, or for that matter any other relationship, isn’t a one way thing. Your friends will care for you even when you don’t do the same because they are genuine people. But once they stop because they have finally reached a threshold, you cannot blame them for the apathy.
It is a doom that love has brought unto you and in losing some of the precious people you cannot deny that the love you have been waxing eloquent about is no more than a mere waste- of time and of more preciousness than what you are currently basking in. Friendship is better than love any day, and when you demean your friends over the love of your life, it’s a misfortune you have brought upon yourself.
If love’s here, can heartbreak be far behind?
However much of a fantasy love can feel like, it isn’t forever defined by the silver lining. Days and weeks into it and you can’t help love from developing into free flowing mundanity or worse, even catapulting into disaster by falling for the wrong person. Perhaps it’s the lure of tragedy that is what makes love all the more enticing a thought to bask in. But as romantic as it might stem in fiction and in fantasy, the real tragedies of love are one of the darkest despairs to have to deal with .From a nasty breakup laced with zero chances of reconciliation to one that breaks you so hard that you are left wallowing your entire life, there’s nothing nastier than a love gone wrong. Of course it’s indeed commendably possible to emerge stronger out of a heartbreak but you can’t deny the bitterness it seeks to engulf you with.
From investing moments and eternity to building a relationship and the many fond memories and having to clamp them all out all of a sudden isn’t the easiest of things to do. In the many exertions it subjects you to, both in fond remembrance and in bitter anguish, what else is love but a vehement waste of time? And because it had been this very pride steeping of love that had let you vanquish your decades old true friendship, heartbreaks get all the more difficult and pathetic. From ruining lives to ending it all, love is a definite cause of destruction.
Your finances are in shambles
Wooing the love of your life in the initial stage of a developing attraction is no child’s play. From delivering the perfect compliments to whispering the sweetest nothing, from fancy dates to luxurious getaways, you do it all to make your feelings matter. This indeed is an irony, for in establishing your deep found emotions, you have to take recourse to something as fickle as money to make it all count.
Of course real love itself does not impose any such requirements. But it maybe either the desire to come across as worthy to your loved one or the pressure of making them yield to your efforts that drives you into spending money like crazy. Over time as the relationship sustains and you get more used to the togetherness, in fact even dreading it rather than dreaming it away, you realise that your investments has been not worth it. As you grow through the bond and understand that togetherness resides in desire and does not stem from desperateness, you yourself begin to view love as nothing more than a waste of time.
That’s a pity, considering that all your hard earned money were doled out for reasons that are now inadequate enough to even feed your soul. As arguments become the order of the relationship, either over struggling to make ends meet or over depleting interests, one thing is evident- by losing yourself to the lures of love, you have lost most of what you had earned in life.
Love is unreal enough to be anything more than a waste of time
You think love is the purest emotion yo can ever experience? Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s your naievity that renders you gullibly aligning to such notions. Not to say that love does not exist but it’s more the fondness and the responsibilty that guides even romantic relationships once the honeymoon period is over. To the extent that you are indulging in something that is so unreal that it fleets as easily as it sets in, love can never rise above being a waste of all resources, of time and of your life.
Wasting away your years of youth and your pound of thinking or making such investments that you come to realise are not so worthy as you perceive them to be, love indeed is a farce. You can be sulking and cursing, yelling and shouting but nothing will change the notion that in tending to be so very magical, love is always or at least more often, too good to be true.