Love yet, Attach not

It might be impossible to assess our views of relationships without adhering to the dual necessities of affection and emotion in whatever intensity though, as might be the case. Right through our life, the relations that accrue to us, whether we have been granted them by birth or choose instead to foster them through the days of our existence on earth, the concept of relationships and love is intertwined. Apart from work or professional relationships and those that tend to be somewhat symbiotic in the nature of them, the association we have and further with other individuals essentially calls for some form of feeling to find its way to our hearts and souls. Most commonly that might be an emotion we feel and describe as love across numerous manifestations of its being, or extend to other connected areas of care and concern and fondness and such, all of which indeed involve a certain degree of attachment emerging from within us, either mutually or even singularly.

Attachment being then such a core concept of all relationships and the premises on which love spreads its blooming aura, it speaks as quite a revelation, and a somewhat assuring one at that as well that there is something called non attachment that can go equal miles in making our love stronger and holding relationships forever. A core virtue of such diversive norms of life that venture instead into the realms of philosophy and spiritually, non attachment might not be something we associate ever with the dimensions of something as assertive in its asking for efforts as the realm of relationships. But in fact it is by practicing non attachment in our most intimate of relationships that we open up the avenues to experience a love that is the most fulfilling and nurturing by eking out a path profuse with the rich liberties of the most unconditional love there ever can be.

The idea might come across as contradictory, of harbouring an approach to a love not based on attachment exclusively or majorly even, but the reality of it as being a very natural way of practicing relationships demands a definite understanding of its essence. Discrete in its identity is this awareness of non attachment that though might be sometimes doubled as detachment even when the underlying premises of both these nots concerned with attachment is not exactly the same. More distinctly even, non attachment cannot be passed off as indifference, with the former dwelling still in an awareness that makes it encompassing of the love and the emotions permeating the world. More a state of being of the self than one rooted immensely in the affiliations that the individual existence naturally resides in is the exploration that non attachment leads itself to, in its nature devoid of the cons of dependence and the perils of prejudice. And it exactly is such characteristics of non attachment that makes it a rather convenient mode for love and life to dwell in a balance that leads one to greater fulfilment and happiness.

Very objective in its essence is the spectacular space of mind that non attachment comes to occupy, but equally difficult can be the cultivation of it as a way of life to consciously live by so as not to let your emotions prevail over you in a manner that can shape up as unhealthy or overbearing and even toxic. Because non attachment calls for an ability to disconnect yourself from the farce of expectations keeping in view the unpredictable nature of life, it might be tricky to yield into this necessity of the aberrations from what is the most natural way of existing. And yet, once you have marked your course along this route of being, love, relationships and therefore life itself will be a hell lot easier to maneuver through even along its complicated maze of happenings.

At its most basic, non attachment stems from a realisation that makes you aware of the uncertain state of existence. All us mere mortals of earth are more susceptible to fall into the unexpectedly haphazard module that life forever tricks us through. We are here now, and gone forever the very next moment. It is this cruel possibility that life limits us with that the cultivation of non attachment helps us to deal and live through, if not overcome completely the grave truth of it. And in fact this state of the temporal existence that non attachment makes all the more feasible to take in our own stride that is what makes it such a crucially empowering understanding across all facets of life.

As regards relationships though, this particular way of being manifests itself in its maximum strength, as even the very idea of the temporary essence of life goes against the adage of the forever togetherness that love and relations are the most steeped in. By granting allowance for the fact that life, love, relations and emotions are all temporary, non attachment can help in limiting the scope of our expectations from these pursuits that are innate to each one of us, rendering us therefore more realising of the substance of them, so that we accord greater value and appreciation to our connections and emotions and feelings and also are more generous in our perception of them. This awareness of our love being a temporary recluse for the soul helps also in making us more unconditional in our practice of it because we then still choose to love despite bearing the knowledge of its ultimate futility. Call it the blessing of impermanence or another of the strange ways of life but this particular strand of consciousness that our minds come to rest in make us embrace whole heartedly whatever joys and beauties we are endowed with in our time on earth. Empowering us therefore with the knowledge of the pain being inevitable, non attachment prepares us better to deal with misfortunes and teaches us also to live sans the love while ironically making us more in possession of it.

Non attachment helps further also the universality of the experience of love as no longer we believe love to be an entity we are brought to realisation of in very individualistic terms. Liberating both us and the ones we love, because our deliberate attainment of a far freer state of existence impedes our tendency to come across as clingy, this particular assertion of attachment lends an altogether different dimension to the love we are otherwise so accustomed with, even as we evolve in fact to love better and greater, lesser bothered by the undesirable idea of our love going unrequited or not reciprocated, and instead loving in an intensity that fuels further our spirit and being in living the life of utmost contentment.

To love without attachment invariably translates to love marking its entry into the realms of an universal unconditionality, upon the expanse of which all emotions associated with this feeling of what governs and drives and sustains life in general undergo a transcendence of sorts in how it reveals to the common human. Loving without attachment does not mute us to the sense of loss that a loss of love whether for mortal or other reasons will bring upon us and impact indeed one facet of the identity we come to manifest ourselves as. But it indeed does let us rise above such aspects of the undesirable by not letting us ever be obsessed with desires, rather helping us pursuing them to a measure that sets all free. When you continue still to be in love with someone, romantic or otherwise, despite being able to emotionally unattach yourself from them, you reward yourselves a relationship that is the purest version of what you would have envisioned your bond to be.

Non attachment frees not just you from the fear of holding on to something you are desperate to reverse the slipping nature of, it also renders the other person unburdened from the weight of your concerns with them making them also therefore more appreciative of you and more treasuring of the special bond they harbour with you. And ultimately not binding your loved ones with the shackles of obligations, whether spoken or not, is the ultimate expression of love that one can afford. As therefore one of the most poignant ways in which you can lend effort to your relationships so that it blooms and blossoms rather than trudging along the uncertain course of life, with apprehensions and worries sucking the emotions out of it to leave your coffers of love dry and high, non attachment empowers you to experience life and love in its most beautiful assertions.

Love is something we all covet, it is a treasure we all chase and wish to possess, it is a bliss we all wish our souls to soak in the fuzzy charms and divine glory of, but love is anything but easy to imbibe within the confines of our selves forever wary of the transient basis of it. And non attachment, by making us more aware of this fragility of existence leads us to a freedom wherein we are no longer govyerned by the fear of what eludes us. Ignorance might be bliss but only to the extent we are not shielding ourselves from a reality that we would come to face unfailingly, in which case ignorance becomes the only evil ever to exist. In helping us get over this facet of the ignorant bliss and therefore leaving us better placed to assess our own lives across the essential element of love and the innate nature of relationships, non attachment is indeed the ultimate virtue to preach, profess and practise all throughout.