If only all marriages in the world would have been out of love, then perhaps the notion of marital bliss would have emerged as the true epitome of what it is meant to be. But because the confines of the real world is more complex a labyrinth than the rosy realms of the fantastical, seldom is love the sole and/ or primary driver of something even as love filled as the passionate pathway of marriage. Because if love would have been ‘the’ cause leading one to chart out the expanse of conjugal living for lifetime, then this whole concept in togetherness perhaps would not have been narrowed down to the singular assertion of marriages. As a bond exclusively centered on the romantic unfurlings of love, the institution of marriage is somewhat ironic a measure in gauging this emotion of the ultimate essence that is proclaimed to be eternal and unbounded and pursued still mostly along the passionate lines of its residing. For love to indeed be accorded due status as the free flowing spirit of unconditional care and compassion that it most essentially is, it perhaps is imperative that the very notion of marriages being the culmination of love- and romantic love at that specifically- needs to be rendered somewhat ambiguous at least, if not obscure out and out.
Love has never yearned to submit itself completely to the exploration of it in fascinating folds of the romantic even when it indeed is one of the most fantasised over aspects of it being. But love stands out uniquely also in the other many propositions of it whether it be the universal parental child bond or other familial ties between siblings and relatives and the like, or the surprising dimension of it that something only the most wholesome of friendships can further and feel as well as even the love between strangers of totally humane nature. Even within the romantic expression of love, other strands of this particularly enriching experience of the living find due place, evolving indeed in the emotions of them over time and across circumstances, sometimes brewing in so profound a beauty of subtlety that it even evades the conscious fore of realisation. That might therefore essentially make marriages not so exclusive an expanse of love in just the romantic inclinations of it but the popular belief of it being held in foremost priority across the realm of romance is what makes it a sadder encounter in reality. Because if that would not have been the case then the very romantic notion associated with that soul searching venture for a life partner would not be the norm that it is so readily adhered to cutting across the range of time and ages and the realm of place and space.
As emotional and social beings who crave the presence of others to share and care and love and nurture, humans have forever been enticed by the idea of having a permanent someone they can partner up with for life. And it is in this allusory reference of sustained togetherness that marriage emerged as an arrangement typically between a man and a woman and later on embracing also unions of the same sex nature to present us humans with a viable mode in conjugal living. Long understood to involve the implications of romance, whether it be in the passionate exploration of it emotionally as well as physically or at least giving in to this idea in universality has been marriages that set the premise for life partnerships to unfold. But overruling this traditional take on life partners sharing a love not exclusively platonic at least, if at all one allows for this particularly versatile expression of love to eke out its own sweet space, has been such turnings to the almost contrary that asserts itself in as platonic mannerisms of it as possible. Identifying also no any ambiguously as platonic life partners are these current generation of earthlings who have only recently conceded to this idea in seemingly contemporary context, at least in the definite eking out of nomenclature this manifestation in absolute non romance. And challenging perhaps the ground of marriages as being arrangements in romantic implications are these relationships that also unfurl along with the nuances of the nuptials in consideration, as platonic marriages therefore that supersede the essentially lovey dovey understanding of this institution forever held sacred in both cultural and societal beliefs of it. The platonic experience of love being as likely to characterise bonds in heterogeneous as well as homogenous inclinations of the genders, these type of supposedly newly emergent relationships therefore would manage to tread well upon the normative ground of marriage as well, as and when the case might be.
In its very premise of catering to the platonic ‘purity’ of love, this makes perhaps for an exploration in more authenticity as well as far as the realest extent of human emotions are concerned. Generally a course in mutual agreement charted out by those who identify themselves as being best friends of one another since what almost feels like a lifetime is this sprawl upon which platonic life partnerships has come to be. Driven by their individual feelings in a profusion of the unconditional, inexplicable, absolute love that they feel for each other, without any sexual inclinations of any kind whatsoever to overlap its essence with the passionate explorations of romance even when there might still be harbouring of the purest of intentions to live as a family either by themselves or with additions, are these people increasingly on the look out for platonic partners to live their lives away in togetherness, companionship and utter bliss without perhaps having to attend to the complicated disclosures of love per se. Seemingly modern a charting in pushing the boundaries of what love has tended to be seen as traditionally when alluding to the ambits of marriage but actually not quite rooted in the current versions of a time more liberated is this expression of love in one’s own terms through the living of life in a manner that most appeals to each daring to chart out their own.
The reference in fact of such ‘collaborative’ experiences in living dates back to the 19th and 20th centuries when it were some women specifically who chose this way of sharing their lives with some same sex friend instead of course in notions not explicitly romantic but also not always rooted even in the platonic assertion of love. The arrangements made at that time tended also to be more in line with the organised structure of social marriages, taking even the name of what came to be known as Boston marriages to further a desire of the women of those times to live their lives independent of men. Mostly stemming as an arrangement in cohabitation between wealthy women, whether because the emotions felt towards each other were as genuine even when conforming to the ideals of what could still pass off as out and out platonic or in being marriages of convenience instead to further such aims and ambitions of life as career and stuff believed to be impeded by an overwhelming experience of the romantic perhaps, were these 1800s and 1900s happenings that were rather popular during those times. And yet, sparking occasionally as they did rumours of a brewing lesbian romance instead this phenomenon of the Boston marriage did not quite sustain itself well beyond the times, even when it certainly was not the first instance of such formalized same sex life partnerships that people had been exploring since quite some time before. The timeline might not be detailed and the origins impossible to be clearly pinpointed but the fact remains that platonic life partners surely are not any new age novelty despite the increasing taking to this ‘trend’ in living rather recently.
Perhaps more appropriate therefore would be to view such platonic life partnership as being emergent of an assertion of what entails discussion as romantic friendships. But despite this notion in romance ingrained into the very identity of this sort of friendly relationships, the essence of it emerges instead as a very close but typically non sexual bond shared between friend and takes to also the exploration of them as affectionate or passionate friendship. Still mostly emerging across the assertion of female relationships as what had been the exclusive characterisation of Boston marriages specifically, but also increasingly scouted out by men with others of their kind and taking on also the trait of diversity by becoming as likely to form as a heterosexual bond as well are their platonic life partnerships of today that sure is a far more appropriate charting of a love so enormous in the bevy of wonders that make up its realisation in divine rhetorics.
But beyond also the fore of love being more open to interpretations as alluding to its kind as the sheer romance believed to be encompassed by it, platonic considerations in choosing of life partners also has been helping overrule a rather unfair bias that prevails in society as almost an unspoken rule. With such platonic relationships in lifelong commitment mostly involving friends who have been as true as possible to each other, this uniquely liberating bond in love, friendship and all things enriching disprove also the general tendency to somehow push one’s peers to a position below what one is expected to endow instead their spouses with, with such notions of ‘family’ worked into our minds and mentalities that depend still on legal and societal acceptance and establishing to fit into that essential fulcrum of functioning and living in life. Refreshing therefore a concept in the exalted notions of forever and the transcendental almost desire in seeking out one’s true soulmate, charted out today in feeling to the core this emotion of love in as unconditional unfurling of it as is possible across a reality more real even when it isn’t any novelty as such, platonic life partnerships and/ or platonic marriages is not just an emotional driveaway from the stereotypical assumption of love needing to be at least some part romantic to come across as characterising of eternal togetherness but also a defiant exercise of the soft power of love irrespective of the ‘genre’ of its feeling to truly present humankind with one of the most exquisite of realisations one could be ever entitled to in all their lovely luck in winning over the most precious of friends.