Love comes easy but the journey thereafter is one of immense work. One wrong move and you have ruined what could otherwise be a lifetime of happy togetherness. The surge of emotions that love feels like, it’s unlikely that mere rules can govern the fulfillment and ecstasy of it. Yet the fantasy we would like love to be requires us to be totally adhering to certain dictums that ensure its safekeeping and upholding. It would do well for you and your partner if you know the following important rules of love and live by it so that you can together be in love, forever-
You love each other but you don’t own each other
For many so called die- hard romantics, the concept of love is rather fantasised and therefore flawed. Sure when you are in love, you expect that romance rules your life and that your special someone is completely devoted and committed to you. That’s fine but the intensity which love is capable of exacerbating sometimes grows so much out of bounds that love ends up equating possessiveness.
Even the possessiveness itself isn’t so bad to the extent that it makes you feel somewhat sad and you end up making even with your now more romantic partner. But when this love starts transcending into something more desperate that’s when the problem starts seeping in.
Your love for your partner allows you to do things for them and expect love out of them. But this however does not allow you to dictate how they should go about their lives. Neither does it endow them the privilege to question the way you live your life. It’s natural that because you guys love each other you would have some concerns about how and why they are doing what they are doing. But beyond that, there’s personal space and even a personal life outside of the romantic commitment.
It therefore pays to know about this rule of love that is hard to adhere to which makes its importance all the more crucial. It is absolutely necessary that you and your partner realise that just because your love is so immense that you even hate the thought of them not being your own does not entitle you to having ownership over them. Your love is a person, not a thing. Therefore it is only rational that you respect the person you love and let them live life, unhindered and unbothered while you continue to live your own life in the same way.
Build up some patience and tolerance
However just because we say that you have only little claim on the life your partner chooses to live does not mean that you would leave them in the lurch should anything happen to them. Love demands that you be there for your partner no matter what-supporting them in their good and helping them emerge better from their bad.
Needless to say, the rules of love also call for some patience and tolerance outside of the romance. Just because your partner refused to heed to your advice should not give you reasons to start shouting on them the moment they find themselves in a fix. It’s important that you first allow yourself some tolerance so that you let go of the nagging doubt somewhere at the back of your mind while letting patience be the key. Both you and your partner should share a love so real that no matter how infuriated or offended you are, you continue to have each other’s backs.
However patience needs to be your stronghold also in matters that doesn’t concern your love at all but nevertheless can impact them. You might have had your worst day ever at work but that doesn’t mean that you will dampen the good spirits of your partner who just got his favorite book. Try to be more tolerant- not just with yourself but also with others, including the love of your life- and don’t let your issues hamper their happiness. Of course you should share your misery and woes with them but don’t just spoil the good vibes of the relationship out of your own impatience. That’s the very essence of love and also of the human nature that your bear.
Steer clear of the blame game
Among the things that most ruin love and almost all other intangible things in life is playing the blame game. However justified it might be do not resort to blaming anyone for something that happened. It indeed helps to gently remind or even reprimand someone for some wrong that they did but the fragile things that love and relationships happen to be, it’s perhaps the best if you work to sort out the issues at hand rather than fussing over the circumstances that made it happen.
Why it is so essential to let the blame rest rather than pass is that not only it ends up making the person guilty but it also harbours some spite within you. Every time you are blaming your partner for some wrong that rightly falls on them, you are feeding your ego with a dose of righteousness. Over time that then innocent, right- feeling thing develops into something so malicious and prejudiced that you find blaming people an easy way to assert your supremacy.
Specifically in love, it is the play of balance that matters the most. Naturally, when you love someone you would not want to make them feel even more miserable than what they are already feeling for something they did wrong. Even your partner would not like to forever in a relationship that fills them with remorse and reminds them of how wrong they can be. It’s true that you don’t fall in love by choice but since you have pursued it by yourself, you should also pursue the conviction of not letting every misdoing hammer down on your relationship. Because to err is human it pays well to forgive and forget or help them get over the wrong they did and move on as a better and even lovelier couple.
Not just in wrongs however, even in arguments that have the tendency to let you lose your mind, resorting to shifting the blame can have such repercussions that will have you ruing later. So when you sign up for love, both you and your partner should also adhere to this among all rules that help keep your relationship from breaking.
Do not expect the soul connection or telepathy to always make things known
The amazing feeling that love is, it very often fosters a connection that falls short of words, It is indeed a blessing that you get to know the every mood and musing of your partner just with one look at them. Perhaps it is this soul connection that makes love the enigma it is- the romance of knowing someone so well just gives your heart a flip and you end up loving them more and more.
Not all emotions are however simple enough to be deciphered with just some glances or some understanding. Very often this magical utterance that love speaks so fluently tends to make us complacent and everytime we desire something, we expect our partner to know exactly what we want.
That indeed is the purity of love but then love is more chance and less facts. Which means it isn’t humanely possible for any one of us to delve into the deepest fantasies of someone no matter how much we love them. It sometimes needs really clear words to make your needs known or to even step out of your insecurities.
It’s worthless therefore to want something and not get it because you tend not to speak about it in the hope that the one who loves you will get to know. There’s no use pondering over how perhaps they don’t love you anymore because they failed to read your heart and mind. Because the more you think about it the more you will be convinced that the love rules no more and you will be left miserable. When in reality what just happened is the mere inability to ponder over your thoughts because telepathy takes some skill and not everyone has that.
It’s one thing to know that something’s not right by the way you look. It’s however a completely different thing for anyone to read exactly what’s going on inside of you. You need to make an effort to speak up or at least make references and not just wallow about how you are unloved now. Because in every relationship communication is key, what you should be doing is cherish the soul connection while also letting expressions find free flow through words. That’s the only way you won’t ever be lost in or be running out of love.
Ward off the differences at least when you call it a day
Whoever said that fight between couples is a good thing sure did one thing right to arrive to such a conclusion. They must not have ever gone to sleep on bad terms with their partner. When you love someone it should hurt to you every fiber of your being that you have to fight with them. But because we all are humans, differences crop up and hostilities rule many a times even when the love is always there. It’s unavoidable because that would mean at least one partner giving up their individuality altogether to foster a seemingly happy relationship.
However even when you fight and argue like there’s no tomorrow, make sure that you do not turn your back to each other at least when you sleep. You might not sort out all differences but at least push them away for a good night’s sleep. Don’t go to bed unhappy and disturbed and with the probability that you might not have another time to tender a sorry and make your love known. It should at least be the uncertainty of life even when it cannot be the intensity of your love that lets all differences side away when you proceed to sleep your worries away.
Keep the spark alive
Cliched, yes but sometimes it pays to stick to what you have always heard and known to be true. Any relationship, romantic or otherwise, tends to get somewhat bland as the days pass by. It might be the taken for granted attitude or the wear of the years but you simply can’t expect every moment of a relationship to be as beautiful and as happy as it had been when you first started out.
This however does not mean that the relationship is no longer worth it. The love is still there but because the intensity of the charged up emotions that had let you to pursue your love in the first place has waned quite some bit. It’s therefore extremely necessary for you and your partner to consciously strive to keep that spark up and kindled.
Among the many rules of love is this one that keeps love at the core above everything less. Because only when you strive to keep the love free flowing and inexhaustive can you live with your partner happily and forever in their arms!
Love each other but love yourself as well and as much
You can’t give love when you can’t even be taking it. Love indeed is about giving without caring for what will come back to you but loving yourself is as much about giving as it is about taking. Because self- love is the best form of love it pays to keep your own spirits up and healthy if you want to give all the immense love you feel. Only when you are in a happy state of mind, living a life that is loved at least with your own efforts can you let the love flow unto others.
The rules of love aren’t so fickle that won’t allow you to love yourselves. So before you set out in seeking the love that will make your life complete, make sure that first your being is completely at peace with yourself. It is only when you ditch your insecurities and glow in your confidence that you are giving the world one more reason to love you truly and infinitely
Love cannot stem from any being that is not absolutely contented with and on their own. If you yourself do not see your worth, there’s no reason why someone will be able to see it. So when you do infinite things for your partner because you love him all the much, do also all those infinite endless things for yourself. Celebrate your being and love your self- to the moon and back- if you want love to be an integral part of your happy life forever.