Love is perhaps the most paradoxical feeling ever. Because never will you experience an emotion so intense anytime else in life and yet never will you encounter a second feeling that is as fleeting as love. You can fall out of love as surprisingly and as swiftly as you fall in it. Whether you mourn the loss of your love or celebrate the fondness even in its short life, there’s no way you can remain immune to it. It might be a tad perplexing to decipher how, why and even when you exactly run out of that feeling that once had you enamoured so much. But the sooner you know the better it is for you to come over terms with it. Here are 9 reasons why you can be so sure that your love indeed is gone-
You can sense the apathy
Call it indifference or nonchalance, apathy or a loss of love, but when you sense the affections ceasing to exist in your relationship, you know your love is as good as gone. In fact this lack of emotions is so blatantly obvious at least in the feels that no longer do you have the audacity to expect anything out of it. Be it an always agreeable understanding or even a complete lack of conversation, the death of that magical feeling is palpable right through.
Of course it sounds pleasant when we say that you have become a couple so compatible that you do not argue any more at all. But this otherwise very seemingly incomprehensible of the #couplegoals remains as much inconsequential even when it becomes the order of your relationship. A fight between couples isn’t always a bad thing and it indeed is something that only helps the cause of the romance. Not only the fight rekindles the passion and builds up steam in the relationship, it also bodes well for your love to sustain, at least psychologically. A lack of argument represents a lack of interest more often than it signifies a seriously developing mature bond. Needless to say when you notice that even minor indifferences are no longer the order of your loved- up day, it’s reason enough for you to bid your romance a farewell.
Priorities have changed drastically
Okay it might seem like we are making too big a fuss about petty matters when we sulk that our partner no longer share first things first with us. It might even sound whimsical that we read too much into how they aren’t the first ones to wish us a happy birthday. But the point here is not how much unmushy they are becoming or even how profoundly that affects us. The issue is much simpler yet more pertinent. When you think of times at the beginning of the relationship, you would remember with fond affection how you were always the first they turned to every single time and for every single thing. So when you don’t command such priority in their lives now, it’s a very tell tale sign of the love taking backseat.
Perhaps they connect with you less now or perhaps you aren’t as important enough for them. Whether you are in a romantic relationship or have taken the plunge into marriage, love without friendship is a farce. It is only the comfort of friendship that perfectly balances the intensity of loved up emotions to bless you with a relationship that is just right for you. So when the bond wanes and you are delegated from being a priority to existing just because, then you should definitely know where your love is heading to only be gone altogether.
There is a boredom doing the air
Of course when we speak of romance it’s love that should be in the air. But when you are running out of this very delirious emotion what you rather experience is some seriously bothering boredom. And not matter what you do to keep that very tiring feeling at bay, it refuses to go away, pulling you even more and more into that spiral that feels so much like emptiness. You might think that you would be making memories over the weekend with bae but the moment you start living what should have been some quality time you realise that you don’t find anything in it.
Either it is because you have run out of love even without realising it or because your partner isn’t making equal efforts to reciprocate the warmth. But either way, as you try feeding some romance into your now hapless love life, it is the effort stemming from emotions less felt and more obliged that drives you to such boredom that will only have you in despair. You want to ward it off but even as you try you only end up feeling even more bored. In fact this lack of interest and a loss of love is so vicious a cycle that you get exhausted even more the more you plan to relive your love.
There is constant bickering
Like they say too much of anything is bad so is the case with those couple fights. While distancing yourself completely from arguments show a lack of the will to stand up and in for the relationship, so too constant fighting means that you are totally fed up with this chapter of your life. You sulk so much and bicker about so many things that you make life difficult not only for yourself but also for your partner. Because you are so done and maybe even so frustrated with the relationship that even the pettiest of things annoy you.
You sometimes do it on purpose because you are feeling so miserable and sometimes it’s just an expression of how vent up your feelings are. Ironically such behavior does not just speak of the exhaust of your love, it also can drive your partner to such despair that they run out of love as well!
You avoid each other
Nothing speaks not wanting to do anything with someone better and clearer than avoiding them. Specifically when in a romantic relationship you start to avoid each other you are already harboring one of the biggest red flags you possibly can while seemingly speaking the language of love. Deliberate avoidance may be a way to ward off confrontation or it might be a means of expressing displeasure, and in extreme cases it can be a clear cut declaration of how you are done with everything and everyone.
Avoiding in love can be variously manifested- from ignoring their calls to being unresponsive in conversations or from letting go of shared routines to cutting each other out altogether, there is a world of interpretations you can make in love. If you are constantly ditching your routine weekend detours or choose to hang out separately rather than with each other and don’t even miss them any bit then you sure are out of love way before you have known it. Deliberately ditching your shared activities and even responsibilities in the relationship is the first step forward in ditching the relationship itself. And because you are surely over and out with the love and with this relationship is the reason you are doing it continuously now without even as much as an iota of guilt bugging you.
You feel worse with each other
You sure might think avoiding your partner because you are not being able to stand them is the worst phase your relationship could come to. But that’s just the beginning of the many bads that you will feel and experience the moment you start losing out of love and falter in the relationship. What’s perhaps even worse then deliberately ignoring each other is being together and feeling such uneasiness and even disgust that’s a somewhat inexplicable kind of the worst. The moment you start realising that you can’t really stand this person is also exactly the moment you should realise the fact that your love is no more yours to cherish.
Whether you feel irritated by their very presence or embarrassed at their conduct, whether you find yourself rather at peace without them or whether you regret every moment spent in their company, you know you are perhaps being disrespectful and yet you just can’t find any means to get over with it. You start seeking love in and with yourself because you just feel so alone and emotionally distant from your partner even when they are keeping you company. That’s a really sad state of affairs- in fact a veritable mess you can find yourself in- on one hand you can’t stand the person you supposedly love, on the other you find yourself in guilt over your disgust. This appalling mess is exactly the reason how and why you know for sure that your love is gone.
The future isn’t even anywhere within your purview
Talk of love and we immediately think about forever. That’s perhaps how enamoring love happens to be to hold everyone in the enthrall of eternity. Yet as time passes and love fades, this very pursuit of a ‘happily ever after’ is no longer a rosy expectation but a reality you couldn’t care less about.
You might have spent moments and days and years envisioning a perfect future with that one person who means the world to you but no speck of that imagination and no allure of that intensity holds when you have love no more to hold on to. In fact a lifelong with that perhaps becomes no less than a nightmare and you desperately and deliberately avoid any talks of the future with them. There are no long term plans, no commitments and in fact no promise of a rosy future to hold on to so anticipatedly. This is very certainly a loss of your love and it speaks volumes about how you are not even willing to hold the romance in good stead even in your fancy.
You keep yourself busy with as many things as you can and that doesn’t concern the relationship
Because you are not comfortable anymore in the relationship that you had once entered out of love, you try as many ways to keep your mind off it. You find numerous ways, or at least excuses to keep yourself busy just so you don’t have to explain why you are avoiding them or simply to distract your mind enough from the very glaring loss of your emotions. Because the burden of the loss and its acceptance is too heavy for your soul to bear, you are constantly trying not to think about it.
Naturally you want to keep yourself so occupied that those very unsettling thoughts do not swarm over your mind and goad you further into dilemma and out of love. You specifically concentrate on things that have nothing to do with the relationship just so you get as much time out of it as possible. Because you are so much going out of your way to not let the relationship a chance to concern you is exactly the reason why your already fading love will be gone forever sooner than you anticipated.
You avoid also even the mere mention of your partner
Not only do you avoid your partner, you also avoid any mention of them just so it doesn’t throw you off guard. Like you keep your mind busy to keep all thoughts at bay, so too you keep filling in pauses in social conversations with small talk just so the topic does not stumble upon anything that reminds you again and again of the loveless path your relationship is driving on. One of the reasons why you can know surely that your love is gone when you steer clear of any of their thoughts or mentions is that it is against the very nature of romance to keep away from the effect of the person you have the feels for.
When you start avoiding everything about bae- from their touches to their possessions, from talking and spending alone time with them to casually mentioning or even remembering them, you should be rest assured that the love of your life is long gone far, far away from you. So should you know that the love is no more there even when it’s your partner doing all the avoiding and the bickering, the ignoring and the arguing and what not.