Realities of love: spending too much time together is a spoiler for romance


The premise of romance is one rather complex. With love and conflict both being required elements of romantic experiences, confusion rules rampant regarding the crucial hows of navigating through this space of a perceived dreamy reality. The factors tend to be as dispersive as well and it does not help that there isn’t any one solution that works for all. With relationships being first and foremost a personal matter explored along their appeal of much universality, maneuvering through the numerous turns and bends of these not entirely smooth stretches of ambling proves to be quite a challenge.

One such issue that strikes in much unexpectedness of its urgency happens to assume an even ambiguous character, and one that is specially perplexing as well. With notions like spending quality time together so prominently expressing as one of the dictums for romances to find its thriving in a forever timeline, it only is obvious that love makes the hearts resplendent in its reds desire to while away all time in company of the other half completing its curve of life. But if the very feeling of eternal love is received so differently by every individual experiencing the expression of this emotion, it is only natural then that the notion of its time bound trajectory would only be limited further by clamors of such yearning.

To cut straight to the point means stating the truth in terms that might occur as revolting almost in their relaying an information of revealing relevance. Contrary to the popularly held belief of spending as much time together as possible is how one inches their way forward to a perfect romance is the possibility that presents as part peculiar, part liberating.

With relationship experts themselves proclaiming too much time spent with one’s special someone to be unhealthy instead for the relationship, no matter how true and deep and real the love might run, it’s time indeed to do a rethink. For all you might know, you perhaps are overdoing your romance and leading it thus to some extent of ruin.

No wonder then that ‘theories’ like distance making the heart grow fonder has been curated over the years as reminders indeed that personal space and one’s own private time is as much necessary a component of a fulfilling life as is a very close, attached relationship. The human soul cannot thrive with an overwhelming amount of liabilities and responsibilities to account for, even when they occur as some of its most cherished moments and possessions. Excessively stretching and exaggerating the gentle strings of love only strengthens further its fragile nature making this most special of all emotions manifest then in the irony of being choked with an unbearable almost rendition of all its profusely loving nature.

The question that calls for an answer is very obviously then one that expresses in such terms as how much time would qualify as too much for a romance to assume instead the disrepute of being something to seek respite from. Of course, the responses to it would be as numerously occurring as the infinite romances itself that the world pursues as being very much in love indeed. But what might seem like a frivolous query of sorts trying too hard to question the very quality of the relationship can in fact be more profound in its assertion, something that can veritably prove to be a red flag even.

The reds of this understanding becomes easier to interpret and clearer to comprehend when one shifts from the dreamy projection of inseparable lovebirds to such that expresses instead in the offsetting attributes of clinginess or obsessiveness or overpossessiveness for instance. This later terminology speaks, very evidently and in all universality as well, of a relationship that is not favourably regarded by the world. That might sound too far fetched a notion that those actually living their way through the romance are unfazed about, but they tend still closer to the unhealthiness of loving than might be aware or acknowledging of.

Source: Bustle

With no hard and fast rule therefore to help one determine the ideal measure of what their relationship should likely be, the matter might present itself as bit of a gamble. Because even when one wouldn’t be in any way and to any extent concerned with the worldlier view of their love life, they would indeed be concerned with what their partner feels. Which means that even if you feel somewhat exhausted by the overwhelming amount of time you two spend together, the one you dearly love might be completely at peace with every single moment by your side.

This is tricky of course a proposition to carefully consider and evaluate and this is where the concrete manner of counting in terms of numbers expressed as percentages needs to be granted entry even into the largely abstract, emotional sphere of dwelling wherein love deciphers its own (generally) lovely identity.

Working its generality into the specificities of romance and love would be the 51-49 rule that which is relevant in every context of the human living. Be it personal or professional experiences, romantic or parental relationships, individual or familial concerns this minor difference in working out the intricacies upon every spectrum of existence is more than definitely valid. With the slightly larger 51% accounting for the relationship that one holds with their own self and the equivalently though only slightly smaller part of the 49 prospect rested in the kind of relation pursued with the other entity- one’s lover in this case, the distinction is definitely, even when only minimally, established as to what can be a convenient means in determination.

Putting oneself then on a pedestal of logical, rational elevatedness can help eke out the measure to which they are ‘overtiming’ themselves in and due to the romance. With priorities set therefore in choosing to attend to one’s feeling of being too much caught up in the crutches of their love life, the decision needs to be made about the optimum quantum of personal time that one can devote in spending with their partner. That opens up yet another window of consideration, and one that can be more personally attended as per convenience.

With everything from the 80-20 rule to the 60-40 count working wonders across different quarters within this same sphere of health, happy relationshipping, even as the moderating play of a 70-30 offers also another period of consideration, limiting the extent of one’s time that they choose to invest in being physically together- even when this mode of togetherness might assume also forms of less physicality like connecting through a call for instance does not pose much of a problem in its effecting. The crucial concern however rests still with the core issue, in determining whether or not the spending of together time does indeed occur as precariously treading the blurred line of that threshold.

With the more generic awareness in boredom to the grave assertion in irritation that one comes to experience alongside, or even overruling the emotions from which the relationship sparked, the signs of too much romance can be varied in their occurring. But what can be as varied as well is the spaces in which they occur, with not just your own feelings validating this overindulgence but also the reactions that you draw from others serving as a notice for such clinginess coming to usurp your individual identity.

Usurping your ability to function as an individual yourself is what such overattachment to spending time together does for your person. Which means that if ever you feel like losing your sense of yourself or are rendered almost incapacitated in your existence all by yourself, specifically in sharp contrast to what you used to be and do, this indeed is one very clear sign of putting the clamps upon your relationshipping time.

No any less certain would be the assertion that expresses as irritability or even anger and repulsion at the mere sight of them or the thought of doing something together. That apart, the habits and quirks of your partner that would not affect you earlier seem to be upsetting you as a consequence of being with them almost all the time. Such emotions that overwhelm you so much that you want to just go somewhere away from them because they seem to be getting on your nerves for no particular reason whatsoever is exactly the sign that you should not be waiting for sounding an alarm of such shrill that cannot be beared.

Other less realizational, more explicit sources of similar intending could be derived out of one’s surroundings as well. It is an obvious fact in stating that spending too much time together with your partner equates to lesser time spent with pals and friends. Faced then with a prospect of alienation, that while might not be anything distinctly proclaimed or practised but which prevails evidently enough for you to finally take stock of in such terms perhaps as being completely outdated with whatever is happening in your part of the social circle is what speaks in no uncertain terms of the kind of the strings tangled romantic relationship that you have been pursuing for long enough to be left drained by this toxic strain.

how much time spent together is too much time
Source: Mamamia

The referential mode might also be another allusion to this not so conducive experience of your romantic character. When your friends and near and dear ones start making such commentary that are more than a passing comment randomly thrown at you as to the taut nature of your relationship, the truth plays out more often than not through such external modes of saying.

The assertions in fact can be multiple in their arising with even dreamy couple goals of never running out of things to say finding exhaustion in their charm. And so does the prospect of going on dates or dayouts wane in their potency of weaving magic as you find yourself craving instead for some alone time or even some socialising with people without your partner managing to claw their way into the picture in any whatsoever.

Numerous such situations might be characteristic of the excessive extents to which your relationship has been dragged to find exploration beyond its practical reach, while trampling upon all aspects of charm and destroying the delicate laces of love tugging at your heart with every possible realisation in delight. Spending together a bit too many moments of love might then leave one devoid of the very feeling that encouraged and entertained its coursing through this scape of the romantic that is revered enough a dream to find eternal chasing. Maintaining the optimal amount of connect is the way to go for love to unfurl forever all its charisma of the cutesies not in any way corresponding to the clinginess of an excessive calling upon its hearty happening.