The modern chivalry

The modern chivalry

As we move towards a modern society where acceptance of an individual and his or her choices is a big issue, there are some things, if you have noticed, that has changed vastly which will touch you to the core. Going outside and playing is no longer fun for kids as they prefer to stay home and play online games with unknown people (at least they are communicating with other people you might say). That too conversing with people on different parts of the planet. It seems fascinating, but what about the folks that they are living with under the same roof. Isn’t it essential to have a chat with them, talk about important or sometimes silly stuff which makes it a relaxing experience for everybody? Maybe it doesn’t seem important anymore, as we would rather share our problems with unknown person on the Internet than our family. Why go looking for pleasure outside when it can all be found in our very home?

Another example is people using online dating apps or matrimonial sites to find a partner to spend the rest of their life with. Back in the days connections were made based on friend’s recommendations or maybe meeting people in social gatherings, nowadays its mostly social media. And as if that’s not enough, the matrimonial platform has hit quite a jackpot by demanding unreasonable fees if you want to become an elite member and get the facility to chat or connect with the person that you like in their site. The prices can range from 4000 rupees for six months to 40,000 rupees for two years, it varies from different companies. And that doesn’t mean that their organization is not earning any profit because this is a very progressive industry nowadays. While they can’t guarantee if you will find your significant other or not, but you can renew the plans until you are successfully engaged.

What about the ones who already have a beloved? Do they don’t face any issues regarding their relationships? Are they accepted with open arms by society? The single people might see only the spark in their relationship, but there are some darkness too.

I know you will anticipate that every good thing has its ups and downs, but I am not referring to that kind of situation. I am implying to the modern chivalry among men. When you are entering a relationship, for the first few months you notice all the wonderful features that your partner has, it can vary from good looks to superb personality, and many more (you can come up with other good examples). But we turn so blind in love that we forget the main question to ask ourselves, is this the person I want to spend my entire life with? Here the spinster has an advantage that during arrange marriage they can learn about the person, and if they don’t like him or her, they can simply reject them. But when you are in love and in a solid relationship, you can’t just leave the person after years of sincere commitment. The bond becomes very strong to break for either group. They support and depend on each other which becomes a pattern that is hard to escape.

But it doesn’t mean you cannot get out of an abusive relationship. You just have to prepare yourself mentally and physically. Let’s dwell on some issues that people in love ignore about their partner. If your lover is violent towards you, it is your first step to get out of this brutal relationship than staying back for love. There is no love at all where a person engages in merciless assault towards you. These kind of people just want to show off their power over the weak. There goes the so-called chivalry. Sometimes men too are victims of such aggressive abuse, if so you have to split up immediately from such people. You can even take the help of police if you want to punish him or her. But don’t stay back because inflicting pain on someone you admire is not love.

There are some guys who can be feeble when it comes to making a decision about their marriage with their loved one. Some even back out saying that their parents won’t approve and marry the one that is chosen for them. If that happens, it is better to be off without such cowards. Marriage is the commitment that needs to be approved from both sides. The courage to go forward and talk to her parents as well as yours about your relationship needs guts, if you have done it than it is really appreciated. After doing so everything falls into its right place. Like Sydney Smith rightly said,

Married couples resemble a pair of scissors, often moving in opposite directions, yet punishing anyone who gets in between them.

While most women are career oriented nowadays, there are some guys who tell their partner to discontinue working after marriage as they think that their income is sufficient for both of them. You might think this is irrelevant, but there are half the populace who still practice this code. Statistics reveal that India’s female Labour Force Participation Rate (LFPR) has notable dropped to 23.3% in 2017-2018. There will be diverse explanations regarding why she left her dream job or why the hubby wants her to quit working. There can be million reasons but if you want your partner to leave the one thing that makes her happy, seems like you have forgotten the concept of love. If she can manage to balance between her personal and professional life, you don’t have the right to make her relinquish her dreams.

Though modern women are all well-educated to know what is right or wrong, but when it comes to love, most of them take impulsive and irrational decisions. Maybe love is everything you want in life, but in reality you have to determine beforehand what will be the consequences when you choose a guy even after knowing his or her flaws. Nobody is perfect, but that doesn’t justify the fact that you will be oblivious to their faults that are harmful towards you. Discuss with your other half prior to making a commitment about every issues and sort it out together one at a time. As Johann Goethe says, “When a wife has a good husband it is easily seen in her face.”