Expectations hurt and they hurt most when they impact a blooming romance. No matter how honest and open your relationship might be, there are always some silent expectations being reared. Some assumptions are always being made and some suppositions already held in tandem with the line of normal human behavior. To ensure that such expectations do not drive your romantic experience haywire, it’s best to try to strive to meet them. It’s desirable too, for what good is love if it does not lead to happy fulfillment of desires? And honestly speaking, being able to live up to the aspirations of your partner you love so dearly is perhaps one such life achievement that doubles up as a blessing.
Expectations abound in every relationship, and they differ too as per the nature of those involved. But the universal allegiance that love owes to Cupid stricken hearts, there are certain romantic expectations that rule the roost for everyone. No matter how understanding and logical and naive and unassuming the partner might be, they surely do expect some common things from a relationship. Here’s some of these ‘unmaterialistic’ expectations that would do good for you to fulfill to keep your love on track and your partner happy, even without them asking for it-
Stand by them
Indeed, just being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you need to stand by everything that your partner does. Specially not when it’s something wrong. But in cases that perhaps need some aid, you can obviously step up your backing game. Sure your partner is someone incredibly wonderful and independent and may want to see through their own problems by themselves. But that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t appreciate some effort on your part.
Supporting your partner when not asked for is one of the truest things that can go a long way in sustaining relationships. And do it also not out of the necessity to oblige but rather because you genuinely believe in their cause and want to be a motivating spirit to them. There’s a world of difference between backing someone just because and backing them because you want to. Venture ahead only when you are dead serious you cater to the latter prerogative of having their back. And you don’t also need to be too much of a vocal supporter. It’s more about the positive vibes you give when supporting someone that matters the most. Bolstering their confidence everyday of their lives is something you can effortlessly do as a loved one who is so proud of them.
Build up a good rapport with their friends
It can really be tough having to prioritize friendship over love or vice versa. Which is why being friends with the friends of your partner is so important. Even if you cannot go along well with them at times because your energies simply do not match, make sure that’s not a bone of contention in your relationship. Which means you do not need to sulk in front of them everytime you feel uncomfortable. Rather allow them some space and let them vibe in their own circle without being fussy about it. Your partner needs the friends as much as they need the romance. And while it might be somewhat inconvenient for them to speak it out, they do need quality friends time as well.
Even when you gel along with the friends quite well, it’s always nice to cut your way out at times. Of course your partner would never even mention it to you because they don’t want to come across as insensitive. Or they care a lot more about hurting your feelings than they do about their own. Take it therefore on yourself to not overstep the line between trying to be a good partner and ending up being a nosy one!
Allow some privacy
In a relationship it isn’t always the two of you who want their private time together. You both need it individually as well! Spending time with the self isn’t just something proverbial, it’s helpful also for personal growth. And as is the case with every relationship, romantic bonds too benefit from personal development. Allowing some privacy therefore both to yourself and to your partner is something you are expected to adhere to. It’s likely that your partner might not always want to let you know assertively that they need their personal space and time every once in a while. That is something for you to realise and effectively make way for, if you want a lasting, happy relationship.
Privacy however can entail for a lot of things. Starting off with obvious matters like not interrupting their schedules, you need to graduate on to a lot of other considerations. From not photobombing her every selfie to taking care not to find yourself in the kitchen when he is attending craving calls, privacy can mean so much more than what you make out of it. Since that is something very subjective, it would do you well to make efforts to know what exactly works for your partner in the name of privacy. Take special care to leave them alone, at least for a while, when asked to. Also make sure to let them know your summing up of personal elements so they know exactly the boundaries to respect. And trust me, this is one thing every partner definitely expects in a relationship.
Do chores even outside of turns
It indeed is tempting enough to argue, why should you be the one doing additional chores in the relationship. But the main premise of being able to be grateful for having a partner is love and affection. Just as you do not count as to who loves more in the relationship, count also not the chores that you do. Do it out of love for them, as a gesture of your care. Do it not as a duty, but as a responsibility you want to bear. And most of all do it because it would make them feel loved and happy and that’s all it takes for you to be happy as well!
While it indeed is important that division of labour gets accounted for in every healthy relationship, it counts also if you make the diversions a couple of times. Prepare dinner even if you were in charge of just the lunch because she happens to be PMSing. Or drop the kids off to school even when he can squeeze in the time because you happen to be free. It’s always the little things that matter in life. And doing them even when your partner isn’t expecting you to, let alone asking for it, only shows the love and respect you have for them. Needless to say, this can go long distances in furthering the love!
Partner them outside of common interests
While oddities indeed is what that might attract folks into a relationship, it can even take away the sheen from them. The wise thing to do here is turn these uncommonalities into an experience you can cherish. Joining in your partner’s desire for the stars will not take anything away from a night less of partying. Or lowering the tele volume a bit for him to concentrate on completing deadlines won’t spoil the serial for you. Finding the middle way in life is always important. More so in relationships where expectations rule large but words often don’t. Whether it be such desires that grant without having to seek or an innate belief that your true soulmate would decipher you anyway, romance remains shrouded in a maze of if and could have beens. Do it some justice therefore and set out on discovering parallel happiness pursuits of your partner for a happier life.
Let them sleep!
No, really! Because in case you haven’t heard about it, there’s this quote that says- If you love someone let them sleep. That’s because a good, wholesome sleep can do to a person what even love may not. They might be plain tired from the day’s work or dead exhausted from downing too many shots. They might just be really unwell in the head or really want a closure for something you don’t know of yet. Either way make sure you don’t come as a disruption to their sleep cycle. Not for waking them up with a kiss because you feel like it. Neither for dragging them along with you to the gym because #couplegoals needs to be achieved. And certainly not for sex because you feel so loved up after so long.
Unless it’s some real emergency, your partner and every single person in the world expects everyone out there to not be a disruption to this one singular thing that can work wonders for the well being. Cut them some slack and don’t fret if they are sleeping ‘overtime’ on a Monday morning. Or don’t chide them when they jump down into bed the Friday night a bit too early, even when they might have ditched your weekend movie plans. It’s some real struggle to stop yourself from drooping when all you want to do is slide into the lap of a comforting sleep. And why just partners, do not ever be the course of disruption to any sleeping beauty ever. You definitely wouldn’t be the hero you want to be for your partner if you fail to live by this one particular expectation that defies boundaries and dictums. Ever!
Now this is one of the easiest and simultaneously also one of the hardest expectations to live up to. It should be a given that you love your partner. But making someone believe that you truly and wholly love them can be exasperating. Not because they might not always understand the emotion behind your actions but because what you profess as love might sometimes be too little or too much for them. And it perhaps is the incompetency of adhering to expectations as tricky as this that has relationships and lives tumbling and failing.
Everyone expects their significant other to love them. In small expressions, in sayings, in actions- love shows through the smallest of stuff and the grandest of gestures. But loving someone when they are being an asshole can be tough. Or loving them a bit less when they are being incredibly cute can be tough as well. One thing however is clear- the love needs to persist. How you choose to love or what is your type of love is something elaborately personal. But do keep the love flowing and the hearts blooming to expectations if your partner is all that you could’ve ever asked for in life!