The mental buildup of the human existence presents a very strange dynamic in dealing with its own complexity, constantly pacing between the edges of comfort and conflict in considerable frequency as the perks perhaps of identifying as a species first and foremost emotional in all their essence sprawled across the social and rational realms as well of their being. Craving for closeness in as massive measure as we demand our space though can be quite a dilemma for everyone of us, irrespective of how much we try to exert the power of our utmost intelligence to devise a way out of the crossroads. And nowhere more prominently this dwelling in contradiction occurs than in charting out the fulcrum of the relationship aspect in which humans are so needfully seated. No any less intricate than the human assertion itself happens to be the many a human relations as well, tend as they do to be equal parts volatile and vulnerable for an expanse of space needed to be carefully treaded upon. And while the notion in biasness might let one to believe that relations outside of the blood lineage will essentially be the trickiest to deal with, the exclusivity of conflict does not rest with non familial connections completely. Many a times it is one’s own family that presents itself as a greater cause of stress perhaps because of the obligation that also comes attached to the greater worth of them, as encompassing not just the happy vibes but also equally sharing in the chaos essentially ensuing out of the living of a life upon this remarkably diverse world.
It perhaps is this particular dynamic of the relationship that one harbours with their immediate family that makes it more a case in such bonding that at times might take upon the rather complacent ground of the ‘for granted’ assertive. While there is no denying that being blessed with a loving family is all that one could ask for the most worthiest life ever, things go haywire more often than not when confronted with the expectations of having to deal with connections all the time. Across such situations where our craving for some space in utmost privacy feels almost ‘threatened’ with then tiring manifestations in too much closeness and too devoted an inclination to the ‘bare it all’ assurance, we want to disconnect instead from any and everyone at least for the time being. But bound as we are in the prerogatives of a family we otherwise cherish this yearning in aloofness goes unattended. Not surprisingly therefore, conflict in families are often encountered along this trail of their embarking even when we are not intentionally invoking of any such idea exclusively entailing out of the identity of enmeshed families. Whatever the intensity of this feeling in confinement though, too much pursuing of familiarity within the familial existence might potentially emerge as a burden.
Source: The Active Times |
The effects of this perceived pretentiousness prevailing in the relational spectrum accrue more evidently to those who share also the same physical space in living. And while that might be true for every soul dwelling in that same dimension made up by the walls and the roof of what manifests as a house and/ or home, the tension is rather evident across the typical playing out of an arrangement largely common to all families. In such households where there happens to be more than one child, the sibling dynamic is one element very indicative in its existence. Whether that be a case in too much sibling love or the notorious case of sibling rivalry instead, brothers and/ or sisters share still their rooms and their belongings in very definite terms indeed. That is all hunky dory an awareness in the sharing is caring ideology of life but this ‘claim’ to a single realm in physicality can and does indeed have deeper retributory aligning. Because when it all boils down to wanting to be truly alone for some time, whether in attempting to absorb one’s own personal anguish or in avoiding treading upon the more volatile ground stirred by one of those infamous sibling fights in very universal resonance of it, this shared space can be an expanse in torturous living instead. Despite it all sounding very boorish and immature a deliverance in idea of a relation as precious as the sibling bond to even make for this assertion in such essence of the ‘brotherhood’ reference, those who have had to endure this particular expression of existence knows for sure the very essential point that we are attempting to drive across with it.
This does not however mean that one can ever discount that special privilege of having a sibling in their lives. With someone one grows up to be so closely bonding with, both in their coexistence as individuals as well as in many of their shared traits of both physical and intangible alluding, as a partner one can confide in as well as one they can rely on to play out all their mischiefs, fighting it out and making up for it as well to encompass in their lives truly every hue of living, as friends and confidantes as well philosopher and guide all rolled into one, siblings are such connections one yearns for. And yet even with all this residing of the relational across such rosy realms of existence, the point still holds that siblings can at times intrude upon your space by virtue of that very close connect. And it is in moments like these that you begin to view them as annoying and ‘pesky’ and surprisingly not just when you are young but also later in life when dealing with anyone outside your own becomes too much of a trouble at times. And that is where cousins step in as the ‘alternative’ blessing, in some sort of a disguised identity along the extended path of what characterise still as family but in some limitations that tend to be rather liberating. Siblingesque indeed in that they can be either your brother or sister as far as establishing relational identity is concerned and as close drawn or far removed as well as the case might be, or rather in the case you would choose to become, sharing still the same blood lineage and the familial essence, even when not in terms as immediate so as to be absolutely binding such that the level of ‘autonomy’ maintained in the relationship avails exclusively in conformity to the interests of the confirmed parties, the whole expansive dynamic of the cousin terminology can be also as much a blessing when it comes to the essential human desire for connection.
The bond one shares with their cousins is of course different from the one accruing to the real sibling sentiment. But it exactly in this particular difference that the cousinal expression of the relative allows for greater flexibility to be worked into its understanding. Depending on the intensity of the connect one develops with their cousins, they can as well be the singular friend, philosopher and guide who sticks by you through thick and thin. As the ones you gel along more than well with during family functions and outings, they are the ones allowing you to adhere to that ‘squad goals’ hashtag. Whether they accompany you in your fun spree or make sure that they turn up in person every time you need them, cousins can indeed be almost siblings, beyond friends and even more. And while that might seem like all the perks that is to having cousins in your life as also another blessing extending parallel along the immediate family lineage, they come with an understated essence as well.
Even in being so encompassing of all the closely felt emotions that one would rather associate with true siblings, your cousins likely aren’t in your space of being all the time. This means they are less likely to get on your nerves or to drive you wacky from all that incessant pestering for details that you absolutely do not want to reveal or even the bother of not having to deal with them immediately after an argument when your headspace simply refuses to allow anyone access to yourself both emotionally and otherwise. Also possible can be such rendition of benefits that mean that they do not have first hand account of whatever is transpiring within the family you cohabit lending therefore you a certain sense of validation in feeding instead all details to them on your own account. This of course is not to say that you would be speaking ill of your own family but at least you get the chance to express your personal viewpoint without having to yield in to the argument that routinely corners you for the simple fact that the cousins would only have as much access into your life as you would want them to have. And just like the case against too nosy siblings sounding too unreasonable to be true but that which is a stating not without any basis, these seemingly frivolous explorations of the cousin relationship dynamic is also not any less valid. As people who tend to be all the more fun for the simple reason that one does not have to always be with them outside their will, as people one can retreat from if one wishes even within the family setting, cousins make for an option in familial bliss essentially entertaining while not being needlessly nestled in the associated nuances of the obligational.
